Meeting the Shadow

"Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions." -Carl Jung

For many of us, our shadows are much more than ever-present and unheard companions. Throughout life, we inevitably discover characteristics of our personalities that are less than desirable. These disowned characteristics are part of our true selves whether we like it or not; however, most of the time, we repress these characteristics, banning them to the locked closets of our unconscious minds. Such things are unpleasant to think about, therefore, we do not.

For educational purposes, the shadow will be described here according to the Jungian concept of archetypes. The shadow is composed of the darkest parts of the self. It is the image of the self based entirely in emotion, and as much as we like to think we exercise power and control over the shadow, we as average people do not. According to Changing Minds, the shadow "embodies chaos and wildness of character, tending to disobey rules and plunge things into chaos and battle." Mistakes of the past and emotional unfinished business are very real parts of our lives, regardless of whether or not we have confronted them.

Most people are unaware of the damage caused by the repression of the shadow. We operate under the assumption that simply because we do not recall our most painful memories and discretions, we will never have to confront them, and we can hide away from the rest of the judgmental world. Alas, the shadow is shadier and more determined than we think. In terms of wholeness of personality, the shadow's job is to confront us with our unfinished business. In this way, it serves as the skeleton rattling in our closets.

What do we do with our skeletons? The answer is not always easy. Most of us are grossly unaware of the negative baggage building up in our subconscious minds. What we fail to acknowledge is that our mind greatly alters our perception of reality. In many ways, the brain serves as a filter, allowing what it will to pass and blocking out all of the rest.

We are only truly free of the torment of our shadows when we realize that to overcome, we must accept. The shadow can be our friend and our teacher. Much like the self, the shadow needs to feel loved and accepted in order to be "okay." If the shadow is ignored, it will manifest itself in the form of greed, jealousy, drama, envy, laziness, and aggressiveness. As a result, the shadow is perfectly capable of ruining our lives and our relationships.

The ignored shadow operates just under the surface of the self. It waits for the perfect time to strike, normally materializing in our most vulnerable moments of exhaustion or anxiety. In order to embrace the shadow, it must be brought out into the bright light of day. In other words, we must learn to accept our flaws and faults in order to become more flexible. This is the key to personal growth and self-actualization. Therefore, do not hate your shadow. Embrace it and love it with all you can muster, complete in knowing that the bad aspects of life are just as influential as the good.