Melting Away in the Land of Hessen

I walked by the mirror on my way to the bathroom when I caught a glimpse of my half-naked body. After dealing with nausea and diarrhea-brought on by a nasty virus-it was the first time in almost two days that I didn't have make a panic-stricken dash to the can. In fact, it was only the night before when I was faced with the horrendous decision of either guarding the front door or the back. I was not successful with either and it made for a long messy night.

But eventually my stomach settled and my still-frequent visits to the john had slowed to a less frenetic pace. I had time to fully appreciate the sight of my torso. To say I was shocked at what I saw would be an understatement. I saw a body I hadn't seen in many years. A welcome stranger, if you will. My belly had flattened considerably and I could actually see the contours of my ribs. It made me think-

Ribs...mmm...I could go for a full rack right now!

Could anyone blame me? For the entire period more substance had left my body-seemingly out of every orifice-than I had taken in. I was in need of a good meal, if for no other reason than to have something solid to expel.

I continued to the bathroom. I decided to hop on the scales. When the final number popped up, I learned I had lost 2 kg-or 4.6 pound for my American readers-in the last day and a half.

Wow!

Then, I decided to do some calculation. I wanted to know how much weight I had lost since my last medical check-up, which was March of this year.

I opened one of the shipping boxes at the bottom of my wardrobe. I pulled out the large manila envelopes contained inside until I came to the one marked "Medical." I carefully opened it and flipped through the papers until I came to the notes of my last physical, date March 11, 2011.

Oh my God!

Including the 4.6 pounds I had just melted away, I had lost a total of 30 pounds!

Since I had been in the land of Hessen, I was aware my clothes were starting to fit loser. After the shock of seeing my recent weight loss, I decided to try on my two custom-fitted suits I had bought in LA a few years ago. They weren't too tight when I arrived, but I always feared I would gain weight and they would no longer fit. Buying similar suits here in Germany would be an expense I couldn't afford at the moment.

But I discovered just the opposite had happened.

When I put on the black suit, it looked like a part of me had disappeared. It was a straight-button suit but with some slight adjustments, I could fold it over and it could become a double-breasted suit quite comfortably. The same could be said for my dark green suit and dark sport coat. With my fiftieth birthday approaching, I was finding my body was thinning faster than my hair. Thank God for that!

I could also feel my energy was getting better. I guess living on the third floor of a building with no elevator does wonders for your stamina. Well, at least I'll be in better shape to blow out all of those candles.