Memoir: March 3, 2008- the Gift of Life

The house I lived in at the time had a poor water supply. The well was bad and rainwater was caught and collected in a cistern. Even so, there was never enough. As a result, every use of water was rationed and scheduled- from washing dishes to doing laundry to mopping the floor to showering. Of the four of us who lived there, not everyone followed the schedule. It had been five days since I could shower.

While basking in the joy of water running down my back as I rinsed my hair, I had a little epiphany. I usually like having epiphanies for the sheer suddeness of it, like a tiny rift in the universe of human experience through which we are granted a brief glimpse of God's light. This one was no exception.

My life has not been an easy one. I'll leave you to judge whether that is an arrogant statement. I know that life isn't easy for anyone. Like most, I could tell some really warped, surreal, dark stuff- true stories all. If I ever wrote a complete memoir of my life I would probably be sued for alllegedly fictionalizing a supposedly nonfiction genre. But I am not here writing one of those experiences; neither do I ever intend to. The fact is that I've spent years trying to set aside personal baggage, like the famous scene in "The Darjeeling Limited" where a last minute rush to catch the train home through India means that the brothers allow their luggage to drop unnoticed and left behind on the tracks.

In the midst of rinsing shampoo down my back and the drain, there it was: the epiphany. When my nephew died of Leukemia a little over two years later- still mentally, emotionally, and even physically fighting for every breath because he valued the gift of life so very highly that even a life of suffering was a most cherished possession to him- this epiphany was brought into breathtakingly sharp focus. I believe he would wholeheartedly agree with it and want others to understand it, too.

No matter what transpires- whether good, bad, or mundane- it is all part of this amazing adventure, this gift of God, which we call Life. We can become bitter and fight against it until we kill ourselves (or wish we had). Or we can embrace it for the beautiful, wild- even mad- thing it is. Like the stallion that no one ever has or ever will ride, or warm water playing down your back after long drought, or fine wine dancing across the tongue.

Because of life- the good and bad- I have learned to keep hold of a child-like sense of wonder and curiosity. I will never take water for granted. I will never take heat in winter for granted. I will never take a clean home for granted. I will never take the beauty of city lights and buildings for granted, or conversely that of a rolling meadow full of peaceful livestock. I will never take the gift of friendship for granted. I will never take a good man for granted; neither will I settle for less, because I deserve it, no matter what others may say. I will never even take the simple, unconscious act of breathing for granted. I will never take a single heatbeat for granted.

The moment in which we live right now and the future that is beyond it is all that matters. Not the past. Life is to be lived. Miss not one moment of it.