Memoir of Mom

Among the four of us, I think I had the most number of squabbles with my mom. My only consolation is that among the four of us, I know she loved me the longest. Well, my siblings can't argue with that, she had me first before she had them.

She was just like any other mother. She wanted the best for all four of us all the time. So she always gathered the family at night to pray the rosary. She taught us to pray hard and trust that God will make the best things happen to us. She was a strong believer in the power of prayers.

She was a woman of service as well. She and daddy were active in civic and religious groups that allowed them to help out in the community and give back to the Lord through acts of charity and service.

As a mother, she was quite a disciplinarian. She was the type who scolds and spanks whenever we did something wrong. But she balanced this off with the friendship she was able to build among us as we grow older.

My growing up years were uneasy for me, maybe for her too. I was after all the first child. Every stage in my life was a new stage in her life as well. Each a trial and error for the two of us. There were many conflicts between us. But the one that tops the rest was my having a boyfriend while still in college. Ever the righteous mother that she was, she had fears that overwhelmed her. So much so that she almost made me stop studying. Thanks to my aunts who talked her out of the crazy idea. Nevertheless, she did not make it easy for me. For months she did not speak to me. For years she did not speak to my boyfriend, she would not even look at him. It was depressing to know that the one person I expected to be happy when I was at my happiest felt otherwise. It was a pain that I carried for a long time.

When at last mommy was convinced that my boyfriend only had the purest of intentions, she approved of him and impatiently waited for our engagement. Nine years into the relationship, we asked for her blessing and got married. I felt her happiness in seeing me settled with a mature and responsible man. That would be the last wedding she ever attended, the first among her four beloved children, the only one she witnessed.

She died after four long years of fighting with breast cancer. Her battle was never easy but she took it with a graceful stride nonetheless. She liked showing off the strength she possessed. She was truly a strong woman. She may have appealed fragile most of the time but her will to live was stronger than her sufferings. More than the fact that she wanted to live longer, her undying faith in her Father God was what actually saved her. She remained to be the kind of woman that she was. Unaffected by her fate, she continued her service whenever she can. She treated life as she did before she discovered her illness. She coupled her service with fervent prayers. The whole family gathered around every night again, this time to pray over her. Friends from the religious groups she and daddy joined came and prayed over her as well. Even her last few days, her surrendering days, were spent in continuous prayers. Daddy would always pray with her and for her. "Welcome her into your kingdom," was probably the most painful prayer I heard daddy say in one of the many times that even breathing was a struggle for her at the hospital. The time came for her to go. She was tired and deserved to rest. She died sleeping on the day she insisted she be brought back home. She went with a pure heart, carrying no burden nor guilt. She made sure she asked forgiveness from those whom she wronged and forgave those who wronged her. She was prepared to go. Her passing was liberating for us who cannot afford to see her suffer some more.

Almost three years had passed but up to this day I never stopped thinking of mommy. When I look at my daughter and my niece who both so much look like her, I imagine mommy being there playing with them, entertained by every smile and every coo. It would have been a happy sight. I can only find comfort at the thought that mommy is surely watching over us, still asking her Father God for the best for all of us at all times. :)