Memoirs of an Ordinary Woman, the Journal

Words...

Words can hold the key to Spiritual success or...eternal damnation...

Thinking clearer, breathing free, exercising and eating healthy does not equate to a healthy lifestyle in the Spirit of God, which has now become my goal in this life.

My journey in Christ has not been an easy one and, has not gotten any easier since this past Easter morning when I recommitted myself to living Christ "like". Still, my load has become lighter as well as my outlook on my future, brighter.

I still have wounds for which I have prayed for healing. In corresponding with a friend earlier this week, I was reunited with the knowledge that God will heal them in His time. Another friend reminded me that the burdens I acknowledge are not and, were never mine to bear.

Words...

Its not the words themself that assist with maintaining peace during the healing process, it is the thoughts that the words provoke, in a mind that is open to change.

Yet, of course, there is a "but"...

During the passage of changing ones life from that of one immersed in the depth of common worldly experiences to that of one engrossed in a Spiritual means of accessing peace and eternal life, words can hurt, torment and destroy; causing a battle between will and wants. And, sometimes those words can completely derail progress. "I" have to be strong mentally, physically and spiritually to get back on the path that I now know and acknowledge that I need to be on, to succeed in life.

To accomplish this feat when necessary, "I" have to continually feed and nuture my Spirit as well as my body and my mind. One can not survive without the other. So, daily I strive to grow healthy mentally, physically and spiritually.

Ignoring things, habits, people and situations that may have a negative affect on my journey does not eliminate them. So, through prayer, meditation, exercise, reading material that has a positive effect on my thought processes and studying the Bible with guidance from friends, clergy and mentors; I have discovered new ways to deal with what was once thought adversity.

I know now that previous attempts failed because it was not just enough to think positive or, surround myself with positive people. I must live the way I think thus, staying grounded in reality...

I have re-learned that the will that I must surrender to is that of God and, the wants I desire is to live in a lifestyle that pleases Him.

Words...

Without honesty, sincerity, and demonstration of those positive thoughts, words are hollow, meaningless, and worthless of the breath taken to issue them.

Words followed by actions show honesty, sincerity and the depth of my commitment.

I have a responsibility to myself to live honestly by my words; to show with actions my sincerity in committing myself, my life, my soul to Christ. Never again allow life to live in a state of "unconscious", consciousness.

And so, now my journey continues; in thoughts, in actions, in living.

The hardest step to take in making a change, is acknowledging there IS a need for change. I accept that I previously believed I loved myself but, my actions did not show that love to others. For me the solution is very simple. I acknowledge my love for Christ and His for me in words and actions...Thus, begin to live what I believe and speak. I was not living as an example of a Christian.

I was not living life, I was drowning in it.

Now, because of my actions, there will be no questions as to what or who in I believe.

Words...