Memorable Super Bowl Halftime Moments

Back before the Super Bowl halftime show morphed into the disturbing pile of entertainment it is today, the time spent between the two halves was eaten up by such wholesome all-American images as marching bands and pom-pom girls. Yuck! Realizing the possibility of advertising dollars gained by maintaining a huge audience, the networks and the NFL decided to turn the halftime show into a massive collection of A-List musical performers with lots of lights, dancers and all those other colorful things that tend to lengthen the attention span of today's Americans.

As a result, we have been treated to some rather memorable Super Bowl halftime moments. Among the best are...

Up With People

Super Bowls X (1976), XIV (1980), XVI (1982), XX (1986)

Up With People was one of those nauseating groups made up of patriotic, clean-cut young people singing songs about how great it is to be patriotic and clean-cut. Although there wasn't a memorable moment in any of the four halftimes in which they performed, it was their uncanny ability to be so unmemorable that led to the memorable halftime performers we enjoy today. So for that, Up With People are memorably unmemorable.

Michael Jackson

Super Bowl XXVII (1993)

The King of Pop was the lone star in this exciting halftime show. Particularly memorable was the finale, which featured Jackson sharing the stage with a choir made up of 3,500 kids-a rather questionable decision considering Michael's inappropriate fondness for sharing his bed with little people.

Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Aerosmith

Super Bowl XXXV (2001)

The sight of half-naked, musically impaired temptress Britney Spears and then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake performing the rock classic Walk This Way with Aerosmith was beyond surreal. As train-wreckish as that was, it would have been a whole lot better had Britney taken Steven Tyler's advice and sung the line, "You ain't seen nothin' till you're down on the muffin." Who wouldn't have loved that?

Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson

Super Bowl XXXVIII (2004)

Perhaps the most famous of Super Bowl halftime shows, this one added the phrase "wardrobe malfunction" to the American lexicon. It wasn't seeing a bunch of freakishly large behemoths attempting to crush one another for a couple of hours that had parents up in arms. No, it was the sight of Timberlake "accidentally" baring Janet Jackson's beautifully adorned boob that had everyone fearing retardation of the mental development of America's impressionable children. Thank God Janet's nipple was covered; otherwise an entire generation of kids may well have been blinded for life.

Paul McCartney

Super Bowl XXXIX (2005)

After the prior year's fiasco, the NFL decided to take the safe route and let a fully-clothed legend perform. What made this halftime memorable was that we were treated to some of the best music ever written. But a bare boob here or there wouldn't have been such a bad thing either.

The Rolling Stones

Super Bowl XL (2006)

In another attempt to divorce itself from the sex and debauchery of nipple-gate, the NFL decided to go with a band made up of a bunch of old, decrepit men. What could go wrong? The Stones performed on a stage shaped like a giant tongue. Nope, nothing sexual there!

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Bowl_halftime_shows