Memories of Wolf 359

Wolf 359, yeah I remember that. I'm lucky to have survived really. Yeah I was there, this was before I got kicked out of Star Fleet for violating the prime directive. What wrong with getting a little pussy by claiming you're a love god?
What was I saying? Oh yeah! Wolf 359. Yeah that was a fucking cluster fuck from hell. That battle shouldn't have even happened. Captain Prickard got him self assimilated and he knew all about the battle and Star Fleet tactics so the Born then knew about the battle and Star Fleet tactics and the blithering idiots in Star Fleet command decided to continue the battle. No, don't change the plans an the tactics, do exactly what the Borg expect us to do. Man I'm glad I got kicked out of Star Fleet before the Dominion war, the idiots in Star Fleet command don't know what the fuck they are doing. If it wasn't for the Romulans we'd be speaking Dominion by now. Man I'm telling ya, the idiots in Star Fleet command couldn't think their way out of a paper bag, man.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Captain Picard gets him self assimilated and- You know what this Captain- This aristocratic wine selling dipshit- He- When your dealing with an omnipotent being you do one of two things: ignore them and hope they go away or give them what they want. What does Captain Prickard do? He antagonizes one until R or S or what ever the fuck his name is sends the Enterprise half way across the galaxy and introduces us to a group of cyborg pirate zombies. Who did he fuck to get his position? That what I want to know.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Wolf 359. Captain Picard gets himself assimilated- I've said this already. I was serving aboard the Oprah under captain dipshit-cowardly-mother-fucker-probably-too-stupid-to-tie-his-shoes. It was still better then the last ship I served on, the Icarus. We were waiting in this no-longer ambush for the fucking cyborg zombie pirates to arrive. Every one was fucking scared, the fucking bridge smelled like piss, hell even I pissed my self. We all thought we were dead.
The cube comes out of warp and the La Qu- La Qui- what ever the fuck his name was starts telling us to escort them to earth. Like that's going to fucking happen. We respond by shooting the cube with everything we got, the Borg started shooting with everything they had and they had better. In less then a minute half the fleet was blasted to hell and back. I'm sitting there thinking fuck man we have a huge fucking warp core on this ship, just go at them at warm 9 and they won't be able to stop us so I pushed the the guy out of the piss soaked navigation chair and punched in the numbers then captain dipshit pushed my ass out of the chair and had security drag me off. Two seconds later the bridge took a direct hit killing all the ass holes still in it. Couldn't have happened to a better group of ass holes. That something the Bord did right.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The bridge was taken out and the ship shook violently throwing me into a wall knocking me out. When I woke the gravity and the lights were out. We spent three hours in the dark weightlessness not knowing how the battle ended or if any one outside the ship even knew we were alive. I was convinced the fucking Borg won, took Earth and soon the Federation would be overrun with cyborg zombies. Hell five more minutes and I would have eaten a phaser. They managed to find us amongst the debris and beam us out.
Man I tell ya, If I were in charge we would have won that battle. Just set a few ships to auto pilot and have them go warp 9 into the cube, they would have taken the Borg out. But I'm too smart for command I guess.