Men: 10 Ways You Can Help Your SAHM Wives

If your wife is a stay at home mom, you know that she works hard all day long. Taking care of a home and raising children is often a difficult and stressful job. If a woman does not receive support from her husband, she can easily begin to feel unappreciated. Here are several ways you can help your wife and show her that you appreciate what she does.

1. Don't disappear as soon as you get home. She has most likely been looking forward to you coming home all day. She may want to spend time talking with you, or she may want to sit down for a few minutes while you reconnect with the kids. In any case, reject the temptation to get on the computer, disappear into the bathroom, talk on the phone, etc. first thing after you arrive home.

2. Talk to your wife. Ask her how her day went. Even if she has a regular routine, every day is not alike. Each new day brings new challenges with childrearing and taking care of a home. Talk to her about the specifics of what the kids did, how they behaved, what she did, etc.

3. Never ask, "So, what did you get done today?" For a woman who stays home and does not earn money, this says, "What did you do to earn your keep?" Even if this is the farthest thing from your meaning, it will still be interpreted this way. Instead, simply ask, "What did you do today?" If she shrugs and says, "Same thing that I always do...." you know she needs a change of pace.

4. Offer to take over so that she can disappear for awhile. Send her to a book store or coffee shop for an hour while you take care of things at home. She may be hesitant to do this because she wants to see you, but tell her that you can spend time together after the kids are in bed. She needs a break.

5. If it's dinner time and she hasn't mentioned what you're having to eat, DO NOT ask, "What's for dinner?" This sends a clear message: You're not cooking yet and I'm hungry. What are you going to do about it? Instead, ask her if she would like you to make something or even order out. This shows concern for her instead of concern for yourself.

6. If she is making dinner, you should be playing with the kids. After spending all day alone with children, the last thing she wants is them clinging to her legs or nagging about dinner while she is trying to cook. Keep the kids out of the kitchen. This is also a good opportunity for you to get quality time with your children.

7. If you hear cupboards slamming, ask her what you can do to help. Cupboards closing more firmly than necessary, or drawers being opened and closed carelessly is a sure sign that your wife is stressed and probably resentful of the fact that you are not helping her. Do not ignore this and assume if she needs something she will ask. The beauty of a considerate husband is that he does not always need to be asked.

8. Do dishes together. When she starts running the water, grab a towel and help. This shows your wife you care and that you want to make things easier on her. This is also a good time to start talking and reconnecting after a long day apart.

9. Take over the bed time routine. Run a bath, light some candles and send your wife to soak while you get the kids into bed. This might even prepare her for some romance later on.

10. Surprise her with a dinner out. Arrange for a babysitter and take your wife out for a quiet meal. Note: Give your wife notice. If you tell her to drop everything because you have reservations in ten minutes, don't expect her to drop everything and fly into your arms bestowing kisses. She most likely feels grimy and would appreciate some time to freshen up first.

You are probably a good man who realizes that his wife works just at hard at home as you do at your job. Show her that you appreciate her by taking time to help her and being willing to take over.