Follow these 7 simple guidelines to help create a great first date experience, and to avoid the "I'm washing my hair this weekend." Excuse women use to avoid a second date.
1. Shut-Up! - YADDA YADDA YADDA! Don't talk so much. Especially about yourself. Women love it when you're curious about them. They also love a man who can hold a decent conversation. You could talk about politics, your careers, the ridiculous gas prices, or why Sanjaya remains on American Idol. Doesn't really matter what subjects you choose, as long as they're not boring. They also shouldn't include anything in the remaining 6 steps.
2. Sex - Sex is a touchy subject with women. They either love to talk about it, or they hate the mentioning of it. If your date likes talking about it, let her initiate the topic. Never be the first to strike up stories about sex. Don't talk about past conquests, or start throwing terms like, "one-night-stand" and "hotel chandelier" out there. You may never live it down.
3. The Ex - For all of you fellas who have talked about your ex's on a first date, either because you hadn't gotten over your ex, or because you were just crazy enough to initiate the subject, I will be sending a professional hit squad to your current location...(free of charge)! I have no problem doing this for you, since you have obviously chosen to initiate your own demise by talking about an ex. This is a big no-no.
4. Personal Problems - You have to remember that she doesn't even know you. Your, "woe is me" sob stories, probably won't have much effect on her. Even if they trigger a response, you shouldn't talk about them. On a first date, women look for security, stability, and intrigue. If you lose her interest by whining or complaining about how bad life is, you just may lose any chances you had with her.
5. Marriage - Believe it or not, this subject is off limits as well. You'd think women would love talking about parading down the aisle, but most women go out on dates to have fun and to learn a little about the guy they're spending time with. Talking about marriage and committing your life to her, is inappropriate for the moment. Wait for a few months to even skirt around this subject. If she asks your opinions about marriage during your first date, give a short, answer stating whether or not you would like to be married someday. But don't profess your undying love for her when she doesn't even know what size shirt you wear.
6. Money - More than likely, she's got more of it than you do! Money is always a touchy subject and how much you've got in the bank, doesn't really impress women. Sure, there are a couple of money-hungry chicks around, but most ladies are more interested in character and potential. If you're flashy and got mad cash in multiple bank accounts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But never make it the center of conversation. Words "budget" and "poor" should never come up. I am not saying you should lie about your financial situation, but you don't have to spell out your yearly salary either. Don't make her think you're a frugal, cheapo, with no intention of spending a penny in the future.
7. Anything Negative - What more can we say about this one? If it's sad, derogatory, mean-spirited, or otherwise negative, don't bring it up. Women like humor, peppered with positive and meaningful conversation. Don't make the mistake of trying to solve the world's problems though. Good conversation doesn't always need to have a detailed purpose. Talk about your ideas for a new business, or fun time you had visiting family during the holidays. But if any part of the conversation takes on a negative tone, changing the subject to something more positive would be in your best interests.
Remember this: These are turn-offs for women on first dates. Some of these subjects may be more comfortable after you've spent more time with the young lady. So if you want to make a good impression, study the list and make sure to stray away from these 7 no-no's.
Published by Lorraine Hayden
I'm a freelance writer, wife and mother. View profile
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6 Comments
Post a CommentI loved this! Great advice. Nice work. :-)
Good tips. This should be required reading!
Can I send you a few names to add to that hit list? Well said. Talking about their exes is bad enough, they also ask questions about mine. Talking about the past puts one back there mentally and if back there was not a good place it is best to leave it where it belongs: back there. The best first date is one where we go out and have a good time together unencumbured by the past or the future. Hope the guys are reading this and women might do remember to follow the same advice.
Great stuff! And every date I've ever been on, one, if not more, of these subjects inevitably comes up. Which is probably why I don't date more.
I'm already married so I didn't need this advice, but curiousity compelled me to read. Interesting stuff.
How totally and completely true!!! I wish all single men would read this article. The world would be a better place. Especially #1, I've dated a few of those. So glad I'm married now!!