Men: What to Do After the Proposal

It is one of the most important days in any man's life. You've popped the question, set the date and called all your family and friends. Congratulations. You're getting married.

Right about now your beautiful bride-to-be is sitting at the kitchen table in front of a three-foot stack of bridal magazines. She's had her bridal gown picked out since she was seven. You almost know the wedding planner better than you know your own mother. They have already composed the invitations, narrowed down the guest list, booked the chapel, and color-coordinated the tuxedos, bridesmaid dresses, bouquets, wedding favors and napkin holders. Is there anything you, the groom, can contribute except to smile and nod while test-tasting the caterer's spread?

Be honest. Most men just can't get too worked up after five hours of giggling discussions about linen versus lace, or who gets to sit next to Aunt Hildy. And when you do dare to make a slight suggestion, well, maybe it's best to just keep smiling. On the other hand, you don't want to come across as uncaring, and you definitely want to ensure that the wedding is truly a memorable occasion.

Here's a simple suggestion: The wedding song.

It will be, after all, Your Song. She will hear it at that special moment when you step out for your first dance as husband and wife. And down the road, every time Your Song plays on the radio, or in the background of a movie, or even in an elevator, you and your bride will be instantly transported back to that unforgettable day you both said, "I do."

Choosing the song should be fun. Tape or burn to a CD a couple of your favorite romantic wedding songs. Do a quick Web search if you're short on ideas. You can even browse through all those bridal magazines for suggestions. Might as well get your money's worth out of them. After selecting some songs, now you need to get your bride to notice. Discreetly play the songs in the background, or better yet, while she and the wedding planner are doing their thing. Maybe even sing along if you know the words. Don't be shy. She'll love it. Pay attention to which song grabs her attention, and subtly suggest that it could be the one. You might also suggest a song for the father-daughter dance. You can even test out tunes on the future in-laws, and if you're really brave, her dad. If you can make her father cry, you know you've made the grade. Who knows? Your bride may even tell her mother that you suggested the song.

Finally, to help you on your way, here's a great wedding music resource. Wedding Day! Precious Moments, by E. Walter Smith, is a gold mine for ideas about wedding music. Smith suggests "I Do" for either the Unity Candle lighting ceremony or the bride's entrance. "Little Girl" is perfect for the first dance, or even the father--daughter dance. Finally, for the reception, nothing beats the playful and slightly funky "We Married--The Bride Slide." But watch out for Aunt Hildy!

Remember, it's your day, too. You can help make it magical.

And again, congratulations!