Men as Women's Mentors

In the past, the way to get to senior management for women was to hire on at an entry-level position, usually as a secretary. Then, like some sycophant, you dedicated yourself to working amazingly long hours, having no personal life, and finally finding that you'd gotten yourself promoted - to secretarial supervisor.

Life in the '50s is definitely a relic in many instances. But as far as the path for women getting ahead in business, there are many in the recruiting industry who still think in those dynamics and some women who hold distinguished positions who actually started as a secretary for their company. It doesn't matter that today's women are coming out of university with MBAs and undergraduate degrees in the sciences and disciplines previously held in reserve for men. Not only are women daring to attack these fields of endeavor as careers, they are fully dedicated to their ventures, enjoy their work, and are finding ways to balance out their lives so that personal lives are not sacrificed.

Although the mixture of the landscape has changed, the look of the senior management team is essentially still the same - all, or mostly, male. There are a large number of men who comprise the center of the governing group and one to five women (depending on the size of the group) who complete it, if there are women on the team. For example, Big Four firm Ernst & Young as recently as 2007 found it has 85 percent men in management positions. By necessity, men needed to become mentors to new women executives because there simply were not enough women to handle the complement.

Empowerment through voice

The other thing that hasn't changed a lot is the fact that the women are viewed more as the ministerial part of the group rather than the ones deeply involved in strategic planning and deployment. That is to say, the women are kept busy ordering the lunches or taking notes of what happened. But with the right sort of mentoring, that can quickly be overturned. One suggestion made to an executive was not to hand to his aide a bound and finished copy of a client proposal. Instead, it was recommended that she be given a copy marked in bold letters "DRAFT" so that she could feel empowered to add her own input for the content and feel that her recommendations were solicited and meaningful contributions.

Why men?

In order to change the business as usual in terms of getting women ahead in senior management and board positions, it's time for us to start thinking of developing mentoring relationships for women. Who would be the most logical to serve in this capacity? Men!

Men have been in the upper ranks long enough to know how the game is played. They know the feints and parries and how to carry them off in order to make point for the team. They have been in the upper ranks longer and therefore know the organizational politics and how to use them effectively. This type of knowledge is not gender exclusive. It can be used effectively by both the male as well as the female protégé and will yield similar results in either case.

Where to start

But it's a good idea to start the grooming process for women by including them in client meetings and other transactions as an observer. It is then possible to see how the actors in the situations respond to the various situations that occur during the encounter as well as what appears to be the best tactic for each situation. From the observational mode, women (and other mentoring protégé) can gradually and steadily move into a more active role in these settings so that they develop the necessary vocabulary and repartee for discussing, cajoling, negotiating, and questioning as is needed.

Actually in the last four years, it's been found that women are more effective at using the insider knowledge they've gained from mentors than their male counterparts. The reason: It seems the career support is more beneficial to women than men.

Success - Developing a mentor

There are some who feel a mentor is a person who opens doors of introduction and presentation opportunities for their protégé. This is a valid observation. Others see the role as a type of coach who provides supportive advice and alternatives that can be considered by the student. And there's still another school of thought is that the mentor is the sage with wisdom in many areas where the student wants to develop their expertise.

While all of these are accurate, it is very important to realize that the mentor does not necessarily have to be only one person. It is possible to have several mentors who provide parts of the big career picture the student is developing. And it is important to use those voices of guidance with prudence and respect but also realize that not everyone will be receptive to acting as a mentor. In which case, move along to find a more appropriate fit or match.

The diversity look

One of the problems in not having women in senior management and C-Level positions within a company is the appearance that there is little to no support for diversity. Arguments against offering situations to women usually stop at the supposition that they will (a) want to start a family and thereby interrupt their career growth or (b) will want to follow their spouse's career plans and not move to a new location for a new position. It has been pointed out that one of the best ways to determine what a woman wants to do with her career is something that is completely unscientific. It's called asking what her preference is.

Incidentally, this was also recommended for any other type of diverse candidate. The example given in one case was the candidate who has a disability. Initially, the position was not offered because of the need for adaptive devices and encumbrances in regard to travel. Up to that point, no one had even considered asking the potential candidate how they felt about the situation and whether those matters were actually issues.

The qualified leader argument

Poor women. They constantly get the flack for being the weak gender. Crying is the biggest bugaboo. However, a good mentor models appropriate behavior, makes recommendations about appropriate apparel for certain types of meetings, and uses tone of voice to convey some especially pointed information. If you have a woman who has made it up the ranks to being groomed for senior and C-Level positions, you can be assured that she is astute enough to catch on to the subtle nuances that happen during meetings and will be the qualified leader the company needs.

The ethical aspect

But all of this talk of telling or coaching or recommending certain behaviors, wearing of certain fashions and so on gets us into the realm of whether it is even ethical for men to act as mentors to women. After all, it would be so easy for a man who has this much influence over a woman and her career to go overboard and begin to make unreasonable demands. Even worse, it would be within the grasp of a perverted mind to plumb the vulnerable mind and psyche with feelings on inadequacy in many aspects of presentation and capability.

Since developing a mentor is a two-way street, where the student is actually picking the mentor because of certain essential characteristics, it isn't as likely that an abusive relationship could evolve. Research seems to indicate that this is not completely unlikely but can be ameliorated by using the right criteria for selecting the right coach. The system used by career professional Richard Bolles seems to have the right ingredients: Make a list of what it takes to succeed in your chosen profession -- knowledge, skills, personality traits, experience, etc. -- then subtract what you already have.

It's a great way to get positive outcomes on both sides of the equation. Let's develop a lot more men as mentors to women.