Men on the Down Low (Living a Lie)

I receive letters from people, some are very sad, some very hostile. They are from women who have been with men on the down low.

I receive letters from men who have been with men on the down low.

I've met women who have been married and had children by men on the down low.

The reason why I wrote about men on the down low is because I understand the emotions, hurt and betrayal that goes along with this.

The name "down low" came from the black culture because of black men being in denial of being attracted to men, so they do it in secret or undercover.

When you do something in secret, it is because you are ashamed of doing it. You don't want nobody to know what you are up to.

So being on the "down low", the man doing it must feel very bad and ashamed. What are they ashamed of..... being attracted to someone of the same sex?

So what do they do........they ride the darken streets, prowl the darken gay bars and hide behind a secret screen name when on the Internet searching for men.

All the same while going home to their wives and their girlfriends and children. Smiling in their faces, telling them they love them. And when he is out in public and see a gay man they just seem to protest just a little too much.

I addressed this because when you know your man is cheating on you with another woman, you don't go Betty Broderick on them..... you handle it. You may go to the gym, watch what you eat, change your hair color etc. Or you just accept it and move on.

But how do you handle that you are competing against a man? How can a woman's self esteem bounce back from that? What about our trust in men, any man?

You see as women we equate "gay" men with slim, swishy, wrist waving, head moving men. We don't equate it with muscles, manly, husky men. So how do you trust again when you thought you had a manly man? How do you choose your next mate?

And please I will not be bias because it is just a strong emotion for a man whose wife or girl friend comes back with the same situation. Same rules and feelings apply. Men equate head shaven, pants wearing, muscle tone women as lesbians. Not 34-26-34, blond hair, blue eyes, Betty Crockers.

But at the end of the day cheating is cheating. Getting your heart broken and learning to trust again is hard. The sad thing it not only affects you and him but it affects the children. It affects how they will feel about love, sex and marriage.

Now honestly after learning and putting into practice about what the bible says about adultery, fornication and homosexuality, I try to live by the bible standards and principals. So one really is just as bad as the other.

I guess I am trying to say stop the madness! Stop living a lie. At least give your mate the decision to stick with you or walk away. It is not right laying with a man (or woman), then going home and laying with your wife or mate. The person should be aware and be able to make a decision.... Well to me it's just seems more humiliating to find out from a third party, than from your mate. It blind sides them.....it devastates them. Just be honest.

This is all I am saying.