Men, Please Do Not Open Doors for Women

My situation only became unusual after I finished cleaning one of my friend's apartments (she is a property owner) last week and went down to the concierge desk to return the keys to the particular apartment I cleaned. Before going to the concierge desk, I placed my cleaning supplies in the car so that I would not have to lug them with me a second time since my car was parked behind the apartments where visitors usually parked. But as I was approaching the front door to the concierge desk, a man was also walking to the front door and happened to get there before I did, unfortunately. What does he do? He holds open the door and says "That will be $10.00." No please of course but he opened the door in such a resentful manner I replied my "Thank you" with my raised left eyebrow. I returned the keys to the person at the concierge desk and of course the man who thought he was doing me a favor stood off to my left so when I turned around, he was met with a blank look from me (something I learned over the years; being a married woman I am not likely to flirt or act in such a manner towards other men). I simply walked out the front door, headed to my car and wondered, "If men act that way, do they think they are going to be liked by women?"

Why would men who hold doors open for women expect to be liked, anyways? I can bench press my weight and twenty pounds more. I have more upper body strength than most women my age (I am 43) and can still do 20 Marine style pushups in one minute, something very few women can do. It's not like I have no upper body strength at all. What would have been more proper for this man to do, if he resented holding doors open for women (one look at him told me his mother made it a priority to teach him how he should treat women), was to enter before me and hold it open if he saw me so that I could easily follow. After all, I always hold the door open after entering should someone be right behind me. Then there is the issue of someone behind me, or even in front of me, holding something such as a package or something else, who I am more than happy to open a door for them. It's not just packages, either, as I have held doors open for women with infants in strollers and even disabled people in wheelchairs. That is the proper thing to do.

It could be that the man who acted so resentful in holding that apartment concierge door open for me felt like he was totally obligated to do so. The truth is, no man is obligated to hold open a door for his wife, unless she is disabled, with a child in a stroller, or carrying something that prohibits her from opening the door herself. I can only hope that no other woman ever tries to enter through a door when this man is nearby doing the same. With rude comments like "That will be $10.00", he may receive a far worse response from someone else than he did from me. Not being the confrontational type, my silence can be perceived as the "icy coldness" that some men may get turned off by. In my case, however, the ten dollar comment warranted it. Thus my closing message to men is, please do not hold a door open for a woman unless you plan on entering through first.