Men in Skirts - AKA: Troy (A Movie Review)

Now, I know that some folks don't much care for the liberties taken by Troy with the traditional saga of the Trojan War epic. I also realize that some of these liberties were more than just minor changes. I also would have greatly liked to have seen a bit more of the Greek Gods. But yanno what? Movies are for entertaining, not educating... and I got just a butt load of entertainment value. This movie was freakin fun, damn it.

At first, I was a bit skeptical about Brad Pitt portraying Achilles (and if I have to explain who these people are, then you need to go back to school.) I needn't have worried my lustful little blonde head a bit. Pitt did a fabulous job in the role... and I ain't just sayin' that onna counta his most gorgeous nekkid rear end either. Seriously. The boy has some awesome moves going on here. I was very impressed with his fighting stances, and I know first hand how hard it is to sit a bareback horse properly. On top of that, there was no reliance on those cute dimples this time. This was raw acting ability. You knew by looking at his face what he was feeling at any given moment.

Orlando Bloom did a fine job as Paris too, the young Prince of Troy who stole Helen (Diane Kruger) from Menelaus (Brendon Gleason), the King of all Kings' brother, Agamemnon (Brian Cox). I think there is a tendency to dis Bloom just because of his meteoric rise to fame. Give him a break. He's cast here as a lad who is in head over heels in love and isn't quite the bravest of the bunch. I think he was very well cast. The script seemed to call for a soft spoken wanna be hero, and Bloom did just fine.

I must say though, with a whole cast full of great names I kept finding myself the most drawn to Sean Bean as Odysseus. I liked him a great deal as Boromir in the Lord of the Rings saga too... but he just shone brightly here. He is gorgeous in a war-weathered, manly kinda way.. and Bean portrayed him as one of the few folks who you could be sure really was one of the good guys. Everyone else left a question in your mind as to who was in the right, if anyone at all.

If there is any fault at all here that I can personally find, it would be that folks who are not familiar with Achilles et al might be left confused as to why this great warrior could be felled by an arrow to the foot... but then again if any of those folks exist, it's their own damn fault. Heh. This is classic stuff here.

One thing that Director Wolfgang Petersen absolutely did right is to develop characters to the point that you cared about them all. Whether you loved them, hated them, or was on the fence debating, you felt something. I also loved the Trojan Horse scene a great deal and found myself thinking Oh man you idiots don't do it! Step awaaaaaaay from the horsey.... heh.

Troy one runs just under 3 hours and will keep you engrossed the entire time. It's rated R for some nekkid butts and realistic battle wounds..and an almost but not quite shot of Pitt's naughty bits.. (we were soooo close!) Honestly though, I let some young teen girls walk in with me when I saw it at the theater and don't regret that decision one bit. So they'll titter and giggle a little, big deal. Lettum.

I'm going with a big 5 stars on this one and suggesting you do buy the DVD because there are several parts you will be wanting to pause on.. heh. heh heh.