Menopausal Sex: Things to Consider when You're Over 40

Many articles are written nowadays on sex. After all, it is a national pastime. Even for those of us over 40 and over. Things happen as we age that aren't all together pretty or the least bit alluring. Besides the gravity issue there are several other things to consider.

Menopause comes to mind. The lowering of estrogen can really lower your "want" of "getting together". There are physical things that happen as well. According to several medical websites lots of things cool us down in the bedroom when we get into our perimenopausal and postmenopausal years:

Lack of sleep! I don't know about any other woman, but as I sit here writing this article, I'm yawning! Yes, I went to bed with a handsome, hot-looking guy last night after returning from a wedding, but did we "do it"? No, he snores. I was up most of the night before trying to get my earplugs in tight enough to drown out the noise. Believe me, the earplugs may not do much for your bedtime looks, but it and some of those cute nose decorations meant to clear the breathing passages on the offending mate will help, at some point, the lust factor.

Also, medications and their accompanying diseases/syndromes/illnesses. By the time I'm ready to hit the sheets, I'm practically out (until the noise begins anyway). One medication is meant to stop spasms for a nerve-ending problem, another one is supposed to hopefully wake up without excruciating pain from another. Neither one helps me feel in the mood. To keep the romance from waning due to this problem-take them after your tussle, rather than before.

Let's not discuss bladder control, anxiety and depression-which, according to the Cleveland Clinic Women's Health Center are top causes for a huge lack of libido.

Bearing all of this in mind, what's a woman to do to have more intimacy with your chosen loved one?

There is help and several ways to improve the situation ladies! Just because you don't have the same drive you used too, doesn't mean you have to let it stay in its "dry" stage! This, by the way, can be aided by something as simple as a lubricant.

Several websites devoted to those of us 40 and over have some very helpful suggestions that I've tried and best of all, THEY WORK! Give some of these a try:

-Shoulder and neck massages-nothing says closeness like being hands on.

-Start foreplay early on in the evening-light candles at dinner, do the dishes together. Use scented candles in the bedroom.

-Try some erotica tapes or books. This works especially well for the men, who tend to be very visually inclined. Let's face it, they're half of this session.

-Laugh!!! Sex is supposed to be fun-relax.

-Take a bubble bath or a shower together

As we get older (and older) things will physically and emotionally become more challenging, but we can continue to have fun and closeness in the bedroom by having a willingness to experiment, talk and learn.