Menopause and God's Divine Comedy

There are times when I think God has a weird sense of humor. I just don't get it. The timing of different phases in a woman's life could do with a lot of improvement.

Consider this, a woman reaches middle age and is dealing with breasts that go south, grey hair, the first few wrinkles, all the chocolate she ever ate settling down on her hips and thighs - yeah its pretty stressful. God looks at this mere mortal just learning to face it and adds a deadly twist. The said woman's children who until then considered their mother as Goddess and looked at her with undisguised and blind adoration become teenagers. It happens suddenly. One day, these kids are tripping over themselves to cling to you, and if you hug them or smile, they are ecstatic. They wake up the next day with the thought "Who is this old witch, and why do I have to listen to her on how to run my life. She never did manage hers very well".

If God hates that poor woman very much, he gives her a daughter who is very upfront and tactless about how she did not want to grow up like her mother. Nasty!!! I escaped that since I have two sons. Still I was the worst mother ever, since I did not allow the boys to go to school on a two wheeler or drive anywhere unless they were 18 and got a license. They were at their whiney best "Every other parent allows it" I know kiddos, I am MONSTER MOM and I love it. Then they give you the silent treatment - which is lovely. I gave it right back and we had a very peaceful and less stressful home.

After you have weathered the teenage years when they are lazy, self absorbed, conceited, messy, insufferable pigs, they grow up to be decent boys you are actually proud of. You start enjoying their company. Then God adds another twist - they get married just when menopause hits you. Picture this, you are going through hot flashes, memory loss, mood swings, wrinkles, night sweats and eating binges, and the apple of your eye, the fruit of your womb brings a young nubile woman into the house and proceeds to ignore you totally. She has a butt and a bust line that burns you up, and she probably goes to sleep without under eye creams and anti wrinkle aids, and does not need push up bras. The divine comedy makes me weep.