Menopause: Not for the Faint of Heart #5

This is the last in a series of articles on menopause titled: Menopause: Not for the Faint of Heart. My last article was about solutions for vaginal dryness.

Menopause can bring on a host of symptoms that can be unbearable for some women. Hot flashes, night sweats, anxiety, depression, mood swings, insomnia, heart palpitations and vaginal dryness can make a woman think "just shoot me now and get it over with." The good news is that even though symptoms can linger for years, the frequency and intensity dwindles and most symptoms eventually come to a complete stop.

Transitioning through menopause and dealing with it's symptoms causes a miracle of sorts. This time of life can be compared to when you went through puberty--but in reverse. Think back to the time when you started to develop and your breasts were tender all of the time. Then your periods started. With the periods you may have experienced cramping, bloating and back pain. The next few years were an emotional upheaval. You'd be crabby and prone to tears the entire week before your period. This was the time of life when many of you became rebellious. You dyed your hair blond, wore way too much blue eyeshadow and thought you were in love with every boy who looked at you. The hormones were kicking in and your body was changing, but you lacked the age, experience and knowledge to comprehend what "becoming a woman" was really about. Peri-menopause may have mirrored puberty--a time of mood swings, rebellious behavior and change.

Now you've reached menopause and the hormones that wreaked all the havoc at puberty and during peri-menopause are gone.

All of a sudden the fog lifts and everything becomes clear. You no longer worry about what other people think. For the last 40 years of your life you catered to the needs of your family, friends and career. Through these years you put yourself last. Post menopause you realize that it's time for you - and for the first time in your life, you give yourself permission to put yourself first.

The things that you enjoyed pre-puberty are suddenly interesting again. I was a tomboy as a kid who loved to be outdoors, but outgrew that stage when I discovered boys. Now I find myself being drawn back to the "real" me. I spend hours outside in the spring, summer and fall: birdwatching, gardening, chopping wood for a fire and chasing and catching fireflies. I've rediscovered the excitement of finding a praying mantis in my garden and the beauty of watching a sparrow build a nest.

Family ties take on a whole new meaning. It becomes clear post menopause, that it's time to write off the overly critical and demanding people in your life who have been draining your energy for years.. You've spent a lifetime trying to change for them and now you know that you don't need to change. You are who you are and expect people to accept it.

Sometimes you need to say goodbye to a life long friend, because you've grown so far apart there's no common ground anymore. It's hard to cut these ties because of past history. You'll mourn, but I can tell you from experience that eliminating the conflict in your life ultimately will set you free. You meet new people and form friendships based on common ideals and interests.

You become a better listener, you're more sympathetic, and have a better understanding of people and life. You become a better wife, mother, sister and friend. You're finally able to set boundaries about what you can and will do. You can finally say "no" without guilt.

I can sum the menopausal transition by comparing peri-menopause to being stuck in a hurricane at sea. You're in a boat, tossing and turning, frightened and angry-wondering when and if it's going to end. Menopause begins and there's a ray of light, the winds lessen and the sea is choppy. Post menopause and the sun is shining, the sea is like glass and you're sailing to a beautiful tropical island.