Men's Discomfort with Infertility Treatments

Some women have trouble understanding the male side of infertility. While the woman is undergoing procedures that are both painful and taxing on her body, she might become frustrated with her husband's reluctance to pursue fertility treatments when most of the man's side of treatment does not involve pain. (An obvious exception would be if the man has surgery to treat his infertility.) While the male side of infertility might not be physically painful, infertility treatments are painful to men in different ways.

Insecurities About Masculinity

Being able to get a woman pregnant is often viewed as a masculine thing. In some cultures, having numerous children is a sign of a man's masculinity. So, finding out that you cannot get your wife pregnant can raise all sorts of insecurities in a man about his masculinity.
These insecurities can run even deeper in men who view themselves as more "macho," such as the man who lifts weights or is very athletic. It can be difficult for a man with a very muscular body to face his inability to get his wife pregnant when he sees more effeminate-looking men conceiving multiple children.

Insecurities About Marriage

It is can difficult for a man to hear his wife say that he is not enough for her to be happy. Because men do not always understand a woman's biological clock, a man can feel insecure when he is not able to "solve" his wife's infertility issues. He might not recognize that a woman's drive to parent a child is separate from her love for him. Because men tend to be "problem-fixers" by nature, they often worry about the state of their marriage when they face an issue like infertility that they are unable to "fix."

Frustrations with Sex

For most men, making love is an important part of the marriage. Fertility treatments stomp all over this part of the relationship. Sex becomes about good clinical timing rather than about expressing love or meeting needs.

Embarrassment About Fertility Procedures

Many men feel very uncomfortable with providing a specimen of their semen to a third party. They feel embarrassed when they see their wives holding a plastic cup filled with their own body fluids. Even though fertility procedures are medical treatments, discussing your own body fluids with third parties can be very embarrassing for many men.

Even though the male side of infertility is different from the female side, it does come with discomfort. Couples who understand that both spouses are experiencing pain and frustration are better able to cope with the stresses that infertility brings.