Messy Room? What You Can Do as a Parent

My four children share bedrooms; two girls in one room, two boys in another. This has been the arrangement for most of their lives. The only difference is for two years, my girls were four in a room while we took care of two small girls. To say their rooms are often in disarray is an understatement. Sure we have bunk beds, shelving, adequate closet space and dressers, but even these tools do not do the trick one hundred percent of the time.

The following ideas include the main ways I have handled the bedroom issue.

Teach
When the kids were younger, I spent time showing them how to put things away. How to organize and sort their belongings, vacuum, dust and straighten. They had hooks they could reach and the rooms were kept free of excess clutter for the most part. The giveaway bin was in the laundry room ready to take all the outgrown clothing and toys.

Take a picture
I thought this idea was odd when I first heard of it, but it worked remarkably well. After the room was spotless, we took a picture. Photographic evidence that it could be done. The photo was hung on the back of the door as a reminder to make the real room match the image before leaving their space.

Whatever
There are times though when life gets out of control. Classes, jobs, sports and holidays can overwhelm even the best laid plans. When this happens and my son starts complaining he can't find his book, or shin pad, I just shrug and say, "That is a bummer." Resist the urge to lecture, sympathizing and letting them figure it out is a better plan. Holding the child responsible for the state of their room by letting the consequences run their course teaches just as vividly as physically showing them how to use vacuum cleaner attachments for the first time.

Remove the source of the problem
In my case, this means I never have both children clean their shared room together. That is a recipe for disaster. One cleans, while the other does something preferably outdoors or otherwise away from the house. The cleaning siblings puts all their stuff away and piles up the remaining items for when their brother or sister returns, then the roles are reversed.

My friend on the other hand has multiple children sharing rooms and yet they do not keep any clothing in their rooms, not a stitch expect what they are wearing. Clothes can be a big problem in bedrooms, so she simply removed the source of the problem. All the clothes are stored in an extra large laundry room on the first floor of the house. Kids come down to pick out their outfits in the central zone. While this does not work for my home, it is still an intriguing idea.

Close the door.
My oldest son is getting ready to move out and my oldest daughter is a senior in high school. Soon enough the younger two will be getting their own bedrooms. For now, instead of insisting on perfection, I often just shut the door. There are bigger and better things to worry about,