Michael Jackson - We All Killed Him

There are certain events in history that forever changed me. I can still remember what I was doing when I heard about the Challenger Explosion, the September 11th attacks, and yes, I will forever remember learning of Michael Jackson's death on the radio while driving home from work. I will remember how they immediately followed the announcement by playing Man in the Mirror, and I will probably always remember how my eyes filled with tears.

Michael has always been an important part of my life. So much so, that I don't feel the need to use his last name when referencing him. It seems too formal for someone who was almost like a close friend. As a child, I had all of his albums. I listened to them over and over again until they eventually became worn or broken. In fifth grade I wanted to marry Michael, and I was so distraught when he married Lisa Marie. In middle school, I watched his videos over and over again trying to memorize the choreography. That was no easy feat for someone who had no dance background, but to this day, I still remember portions from Thriller, Bad, and Beat it. Knowing how the media loves to sensationalize a story, I believed him when he said he was innocent of the child molestation allegations. My faith and trust in him have been unwavering, and I make no apologies for that fact. In that aspect I am guilt free.

It can't be easy for a person to always be in the spotlight. Forty-five of Michael's fifty years have been spent in show business, and I am amazed that he lasted as long as he did. People laughed and made jokes about his odd behavior, but what is normal behavior for someone who has never had a normal life? From an early age, his father made him work very hard. As the most visible performer of the Jackson 5, it must have seemed like the weight of the world upon his shoulders. The stress from not wanting to let his family down could have easily made others crack, but Michael bore it all with a smile on his face.

Later, as he broke away from his brothers and went solo, the media played a heavier role in his life. The more successful he became, the more his life must have seemed like a cage. Their relentless pursuit of the next big story helped to make him vulnerable to predators, and that in turn gave way to more and more tabloid stories. A circular pattern was established, and even now it continues to spiral out of control. Every channel I turn to seems to have some sort of coverage of Michael Jackson. Stories of his possible drug use have been splashed across the world, and I feel guilty because no matter what I am doing, when I hear his name, I have to stop and see what is being said about him. I have to read every story and see every picture. I realize that I am no better than the people who have tried to extort money from him. I am no less guilty than the people who have written all of these articles about he and his family. Michael didn't die from cardiac arrest. He didn't die from a drug overdose. He was beaten, and we are all responsible. Whether or not we loved him, we all contributed to his death. I think that the reason that so many of us have taken his death so hard, is because we do feel a sense of responsibility and guilt, whether we realize it or not.