Midnight Movie (2008)

Just once in my life, I want to see a B-movie of camcorder-level quality or above that makes me forget that I am watching a mega-low-budget film. We're not talking immaculate, just something that will prove compelling and moving. Midnight Movie is not much above a camcorder-level quality film and what arguably should be classified as a "C-movie" out of respect for B-movies.

It starts off in a psych ward where an old man who used to make films is shown one of his old films in hopes of making him responsive and rehabilitate-able. Did you guess that the film he made and wants to watch is a horror film of himself killing? Well, it is.

The old fart was committed for going psycho on everyone years earlier. When shown the movie, for some ridiculous reason, he becomes enabled to exist in the film and outside of it as a devilish serial killer endowed with super powers, wearing half of a skull for a mask and overalls as he kills with an oversized, hand-turned drill bit.

He can only kill you if you fear him. He smells fear. He's invulnerable to bullets, and yet there is evidence that if you are holding a metal pipe, he might get hurt, so he will avoid you until you stupidly put the pipe down, like one dumb teen does before he bites the big one.

Why the demented old man is a wicked, insane killer we are not told, but he killed decades ago, and thanks to the doctors for showing him the film again, he's runamok for a second wave of death.

And he's not even an original killer. He's just made up from what is not far off from a modified "Jason" hockey mask, with Freddy Krueger's fear-sensing/killing ability, mixed with the overalls of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre murderer. And he has a mother who influences him like in Psycho. If your goal is to insult my intelligence, Mr. Director, you are doing a damn fine job!

And no, the goal was not to parody horror films. It puts too much of itself into being horrifying, and it is horrifying-especially the lighting. In the film, a police officer, a young couple, and some teenagers are trapped and hunted by this thing inside a movie theatre. All I can say is, I'm glad as can be that the flick didn't make it to the theatres for the sake of audiences everywhere. It was "torture" to watch (if you know what I mean).

It's slow and boring to the point of making an audience practically beg for death. It's menacing enough to frighten the hell out of grade-schoolers, but only a grade-schooler would construct a film this way. Even by B-movie standards, this one is terrible. I doubt if the Sci-fi channel will lay a finger on it.

Please, haven't I suffered enough? What's the point in anyone else having to suffer in seeing this? Please, please, please, don't subject your loved ones to this...even if it is found only in the bargain basement section of Walmart. F

(JH)