Miguel Cabrera's Mugshot Makes Him the Mona Lisa of Sports Bad Boys

When news got out that Miguel Cabrera had been arrested on February 16 for drunk driving and resisting arrest, our collective sports memories were cast back to the end of the 2009 Major League Baseball season. That's when Cabrera's late-night drunken escapades that included an ugly domestic violence episode bled over into the Tigers' crucial game later that day with the Chicago White Sox as Detroit attempted to capture the American League Central crown. Cabrera went hitless and stranded a bunch of men, and his collapse prompted an off-season treatment plan and a renewed dedication to baseball that eventually contributed to his monster season in 2010. This latest incident, though, was brought back to the forefront when Cabrera's mugshot was released later in the day and it became apparent that his little party was hardly interrupted by the ride to the police station.

The initial reports were bad enough: Cabrera was spotted at the side of the road in a smoking vehicle, slurring his words, and cursing at police. He apparently refused a breathalyzer test and resisted officers when they tried to get him in their patrol car. He was eventually forced into the vehicle and taken to the police station, where his blood alcohol level was at 0.26. Bad stuff, but then his mugshot became public.

His beautiful smile at the police station lets us know just how happy he was to be there. "Look what I've done for my team and for my big salary. I am very proud of my actions tonight, and I know that Detroit Tigers fans and my family will share in my joy. I can hardly wait for the season to start so that I can meet all of the happy people who will greet me in stadiums across the country. Spring training is a wonderful time."

Manager Jim Leyland is undoubtedly overjoyed with these developments, too, and is looking forward to the next round of rehab that faces Cabrera, both for his body and mind and for his image. Coming into this spring training, Cabrera was probably low on the list of Leyland's worries, but there's a pretty good chance that his big first baseman has added to skip's impressive collection of wrinkles before the team has had its first workout.

Cabrera seems to be one of those super-talented baseball players who is just aching to derail his career, by dent of weight, drinking, domestic violence, or some other diversion. Hopefully, he can pull it together once and for all and leave behind the world of Albert Belle, Dick Allen, and Kevin Mitchell for that of Albert Pujols, Willie McCovey, and Jeff Bagwell. Either way, at least he's left us with a fine portrait to reflect upon. You can be sure that it will make appearances in opposing locker rooms near you.