Mike Huckabee Choses Running Mate
"People say it is very early in the game to choose a running mate, however everyone knows Jesus and they love him." said Huckabee at a lunchtime rally. Scoffing at the accusation of being so sure of himself to chose a running mate before the nation's first primary election, Huckabee responded "Jesus has already informed me that God has selected me as the next President of this great nation, and I just want to get Jesus on board as quickly as possible." adding "Besides, Jesus has been there all my life, holding me on the beach in times of trouble. I want to pay him back -- he's had some hard times lately with all those evil scientists trying to disprove God's plan."
Pundits are hoping God's selection is better researched this time around. "We all have seen what has happened with God's previous selection in G.W. Bush, and we are hoping he got things right this time around" said New York Times columnist David Brooks. Mark Shields, a fellow pundit of Brooks who frequently shares air time on PBS's "The News Hour" is worried about Huckabee's sanity; "First he tells us that cavemen lived on earth with the Dinosaurs and that the earth is only 6,500 years old, now he's telling us he can see and talk to Jesus Christ himself? I wonder if he has seen someone for this."
Dennis Kucinich doesn't blame Huckabee. After another long day for Kucinich, he commented: "Mike Huckabee is making a smart move here. I was once on an alien craft, and I met Jesus on board. Jesus indicated that he is looking to become Vice President of the United States to further preserve the belief in him. After all, Jesus' home nation is the USA." Kucinich believes Jesus can garner more votes for Huckabee, in a race where religion may play a key role in the Republican nomination.
Hillary Clinton was further dismayed and expressed visible emotions after hearing the news of Jesus and Mike. In a primary that looks to place Clinton behind Obama, Hillary spares no words on her thoughts of Huckabee: "That fucking idiot, I don't think he knows his ass from a hole in the ground."
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3 Comments
Post a Commenthahahahahaha! this is funny
They disagree on some major issues: Jesus would want to cure AIDS victims while Huckabee wants to quarantine them. Jesus most likely wants us out of Iraq and the Huckster wants to win at whatever cost. And I doubt very much that Jesus would support a 30% national sales tax that puts an unfair burden on the poor and middle class. Otherwise, good satire.
Interesting.
Is this satire?