Mike Vick is Sued for $63 Billion

With jail on the table, Michael Vick is currently negotiating a plea deal with prosecutors in Virginia on the dog fighting case that has dogged him all summer. With friends accepting their own deals and agreeing to testify against Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcon quarterback has a lot to be thinking about. As he weighs going to trial and taking the risk of losing and being sentenced to five years in prison, Vick and his lawyers are busying themselves trying to get the best deal possible.

With all of that going on, one can only imagine what their conversation was like when they received their newest court documents. No these were not from the prosecutors in Virginia. This was not from the Atlanta Falcons or the NFL who is preparing to suspend Vick for the entire 2007 football season. No, these papers were filed by one Jonathan Lee Riches. In his paperwork, he is alleging Vick did some salacious things. And he wants Vick to pay, to the tune of $63,000,000,000. You read that right, sixty-three billion dollars.

In the filing, Riches alleges that Michael Vick has perpetrated civil rights violations and Federal Tort crimes against him. Oh, this while Riches is incarcerated. The lawsuit was written by hand and submitted to the court in Richmond, VA. While the lawsuit was filed the first week of July, it was only made available to the public recently. With the overriding theme of the complaint as theft and abuse of his animals, Jonathan Lee Riches alleges that not only is Vick guilty of dog fighting in the existing case, but that on April 20, 2007 Michael Vick stole two white pet bulls from Riches' residence in Florida and brought them to Richmond. Riches goes on to allege that Vick used the dogs for dog fighting and the fighting was so intense that their RFID chips were rendered useless.

Now, that part of the story is hilarious. But it gets better. Vick is accused of selling the now useless dogs on eBay and using the money to buy missiles from the Iranian government. Did you know Michael Vick was a terrorist? Me, neither. But Jonathan Lee Riches is going to get his day in court and get his chance to prove his theory. The beauty of the American judicial system. According to Riches, Vick pledged allegiance to al Qaeda in February of this year. Also, Vick used microwave testing on Riches in some torture deal.

Jonathan Lee Riches continues in his lawsuit that Vick stole his identity and used his social security number and other personal information to open up accounts in stores like PetSmart and Doggie Warehouse in his name. He used these accounts to buy food and other necessities for his alleged illegal dog fighting operation.

Having sufficiently wearied himself of allegations of abuse with pets, Riches moves to copyright violations by Vick. It is alleged that Michael Vick used Riches' name on apparel and did not receive approval nor render payment for those actions. Vick supposedly used Jonathan Lee Riches or some variant of his name to sell t-shirts, mugs and hats.

This by a guy who is one of the most marketed athletes in the National Football League. An athletic quarterback who has reshaped the way a quarterback plays the game since he arrived in the NFL from Virginia Tech; Michael Vick has achieved major success and marketing deals from the likes of Nike. His NFL jersey, manufactured by Reebok was one of the biggest sellers for the company. So when Riches alleges Vick used his name the humor found is eruptive.

Riches closes his complaint, asking the court for relief in the form of the $63,000,000,000 and asking the court to force Michael Vick to stop hurting his feelings and dashing his hopes.

Looney bin anyone?