Military Academy Relationships

I wrote an article a while back about Surviving Plebe Summer as a girlfriend of a Naval Academy Midshipmen. There was a surprising amount of interest in the article, much to my surprise. But, it makes sense. Those of us that are dating someone who attends a military academy are constantly looking for advice, support, and news about our boys (or girls).

When I first found out that my boyfriend was accepted into the US Naval Academy at Annapolis, MD, I was pretty scared. I didn't yet know of all that encircled life at the Academy, nor how rigorous it was. All I knew was that my boy would be very far away, thrown into a life I could not relate to or imagine. So, naturally, I started doing some research, both on the Academy's official website and various parents' network websites.

What I read was not encouraging. Many of the websites stressed just how emotionally draining the program was, starting with the intense demand during Plebe Summer. One website addressed romantic relationships as follows:

"Many attachments do not last through Plebe year. There is a fictional "2% Club" who are still attached to their high school girlfriends/boyfriends by the end of December. By Christmas many girlfriends/boyfriends have readjusted to a world without their sweetheart. Plebes have discovered a whole new world that outsiders don't understand. There is often stress and emotional breakups at this time of year. While some relationships remain, most do not."

As someone very content and comfortable in my relationship, this was not good news. Two percent?! This was not a good statistic on my side. However, I knew that I was not going to give up on something in anticipation of some little quote I read online. I think the most important thing to learn is that no relationship is the same. Some couples are great at being long distance, while some find that it's not enough for them. And it's not shameful or wrong to discover that part-way through your stretch of Academy relationship that you and your partner just aren't cut out for a long distance relationship. Just like every other relationship, you have to constantly evaluate where you are with your partner and that each of you is satisfied with the way things are going. Long distance couples can really learn to appreciate communication. Plus, when you finally do see each other, on breaks and random liberty, it is so much more special.

There are lots of social network groups available to join for extra support. No pressure is the bottom line. Just have fun with your partner, with them near or far. Remember that they are doing this for their future, for the country, and that it's no easier on them that it is on you. Have confidence, trust, and fun, and you'll be fine.