Military Wives: Staying Sane While Your Husband is Away

Sure, our husbands have to endure weeks of brutal basic training, deployments into a war zone, and carrying sixty pounds of equipment on their backs at one time, but our jobs as their wives can sometimes feel like the hardest job in the entire military.

Men and women handle their emotions quite differently. Men tend to take departures away from their families without having to buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's on the way. Women tend to be more emotionally dependant on their husbands than men are to their wives. It's impossible to get used to having to say good bye, which is hard on both sides of the spectrum.

As a military wife, I find myself a complete emotional disaster when my husband is away. Perhaps it's the threat of him being hurt or maybe the fact that the man I love is sleeping in a bed thousands of miles away from me, but I can't seem to hold it together when I'm alone.

While my husband is away, it's my job to hold down the fort. It's being a housewife plus the man of the house all in one. Being pregnant doesn't help either. I basically had to drag one of my guy friends I call my "substitute daddy" to my appointments. Prenatal appointments are not only a huge part of starting the bond between a parent and your baby but an experience any father should take part in.

Don't get me wrong, the military does take good care of us wives. We get free healthcare, tax free stores on base, house and grocery allowance but sometimes we'd like to trade it all in for one more night with our husbands.

Deployments can last anywhere from 4 months all the way up to 18 months. Depending on where the deployment occurs determines the amount of contact a wife will have with her husband. And let me tell you, our cell phones are ALWAYS charged.

There are some tips for staying sane during basic training or a deployment:

-Write your soldiers lots of letters. Even if you don't always get a response back, it truly makes a difference in their day and makes them feel more connected to home.

-Join a military spouse support group. Whether online or on a base, there are hundreds of support groups out there for every branch of the military. There are thousands out there who are in the same position as you! Try online forums such as www.militaryissuedlove.com or www.militarymamaz.com

-Send care packages. Sure, they can get expensive but it's completely worth it! Your soldier will appreciate all the goodies and make their time go by a lot faster.

-Stop listening to that sappy music! Sure, it reminds you of your first date but replaying that music over and over again won't cheer you up. Try falling asleep with the TV on or cuddling up with your little ones at home.

-Don't count the days. Instead of counting the days he's been gone, try counting the days until you see your husband next!

Most importantly, if you have children, make sure they know who their father is and find some way to keep them connected and proud! Ladies Home Journal suggests making a collage for your child to look at every day in their bedroom. Collect military badges, pictures of their father on a fishing trip, or things your child did with their dad. If you have a newborn, take a video of them with their dad and watch it every day, so they recognize not only their voice but how they act together.

Remember to stay strong ladies!