Millennials Move Back Home

College graduates born in the years preceding 1975 were expected to leave home and not return except for Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas Day and the occasional semi-annual visit. This was true for me, an early baby boomer, my Sister and everyone else my family. This mandate was written in stone and placed above the front door by my parents. There were no exceptions to this rule and we knew it.

Then something strange happened in the late 1970's, a total and unexpected paradigm shift. Our collective children started to move back home or never left home to begin with when they were old enough to enter the work place. This was the start of the Millennial Generation. Millennials are roughly defined as children born between 1978 and 2000 who have been brought up to believe they are special and deserve a special existence.

Their parents planned their childhood activities so that virtually every minute of their time was accounted for and scheduled in advance. Dance classes, karate, soccer, baseball, music, singing, play dates and a matrix of other activities were scheduled for them. Their parents made up their social calendar and played chauffer to get them through their tightly packed day on time.

Parents of the Millennials praised their children and provided unconditional love and support. Parents would go as far as to tromp down to school if their child received a mark from a teacher they considered as too low. Understand I am not saying that the child did not deserve the low mark, but both the child and their parents believe their golden progeny could not possibly get anything that was as mediocre as a C (i.e. not special). Parents would even move their child to expensive private schools if they did not think they were being treated as the special little individuals they believed them to be.

Parents would even go to their children's college to argue a grade or a critical evaluation leveled at their very special son or daughter. This parental coddling extended to the workplace where a note might be sent to a manager to allow their child to take off for a family event even if the day off had been previously denied by the manager. If that didn't work the parents would not discourage their child from quitting to find a job that would be more amenable to their vision of a good work place.

The next step flows as naturally as spring water, if child has not found the right job yet move home. After all rents are very high these days for an unemployed or under-employed individual. The child will soon find just the right job even if 95% of the jobs out there are ruled out by the Millennial from the get-go. Once they move back their Mom or Dad can coddle them even further. Why should their very special child have to take a corporate job with a boss who does not appreciate their talents?

I speak of this because I am the Dad of a Millennial Daughter, who at 29 has been living at home for the past two years. She has started to take some classes and works part time for the Humane Society. I often wonder why she is taking courses since she appears to have no specific goal in mind which would benefit from the courses. I would think she would have said I want to go back to college to take education courses to become a teacher, or computer courses to become a programmer, or nursing courses.... But as far as I can tell there are no specific goals which the additional courses will help her meet. She will also never get a degree unless she meets a math requirement. This will take whole lot of remediation, which I don't believe will occur.

My Daughter has extended her stay with us by an additional year. Future extensions are certainly possible. Inside myself I feel she should be independent. Her Mother does not seem to share these feelings. So it goes.

My two Nephews are Millennials who live at home as well. My Daughter's boyfriend is a Millennial who also lives at home. Another young man I know is a Millennial and lives at home. He was a Hotel Manager but quit because he didn't like the guests complaining and now wants his parents to spend $15,000 to have him trained as a guide for African Safaris. He has never been to Africa.

If your child was born after 1978 and is now in the work place, think twice before you let Mr. or Ms. Special back home. They don't leave.