Miller Lite Beer and the "Honey-Do" List

When it comes to beer, I have never been one to stick to a particular brand. I enjoy the slightly different taste that each brand offers and, at taverns, I am often times poked fun at for not being one to get tied down.
And I hope to remain that way for as long as my body will allow me to drink.

However, I can see why one would choose Miller Lite as their beer of choice. There is not a drop of bitterness in this beer and I don't believe that I have ever drank a beer that has tasted so smooth.
Enough about the taste and "smoothness" of beer. Now on to what we are here to talk about.

My first Drunkenness Rating is going to be based on an outsider's opinion. I had a fairly mellow intoxicated experience with Miller Lite and would give it an eight out of ten crushed cans. My wife on the other hand, gave my drunken experience with Miller Lite a ten out of ten hen pecks.

You see, Saturday was a nice, sunny day and I decided to pick up a case of beer and enjoy myself by mowing the lawn - and that was ALL that I had planned for the day. Three empty cans sat on the porch before I even took the mower out of the garage. Four empty, blue cans later, my yard was push-mowed and the trimmer was taken out of the garage. In no time, the grass around the house, the fence (my side AND the neighbors side), across the street where the mailboxes are and around every bush and tree was neatly trimmed.

I sat on the porch, content of my day's labor and feeling pretty good. I tuned the porch radio to the classic country station from up north and downed two more cans of Miller Lite.

That is when something strange occurred...

I had an unusual compulsion to finish tacking the wire fencing up to the board fence around my yard. Three hours of measuring, cutting and tacking later, (that is, eight more empty cans laying on my freshly mowed lawn later), the fence was finally done.

My wife, who was literally no where to be seen until now, met me at the end of the fence-line with another cold beer. She kissed me on the cheek and let out a giggle, then suggested I put up some more garden boxes since the weather was nice and we had the boards to do it.

Though my sober side on the other side of my brain was screaming, "NEXT WEEK! NEXT WEEK!" the Miller Lite that had taken over my senses calmly said, "Sure, Babe."

Five more empty cans scattered across my freshly mowed lawn and two more hours of measuring, sawing, leveling ground and nailing boards in place later, my wife's garden boxes had been crafted. I had built her garden boxes before - sober - and, I tell you true, the garden boxes sponsored by the good people at Miller Lite are the most arrow-straight, evenly nailed and level to the ground garden boxes you'd ever see, (much unlike the garden boxes I built stone sober a year ago).

I finished off my day by SLOWLY enjoying one more can of Miller Lite before calling the wife outside to inspect my work. Folks, she was all smiles, happy with her new garden boxes, the finished fence and the freshly mowed yard. She gave me a big hug and a kiss on the mouth and said, "We'll have to get you drunk more often!" She, then, patted my butt before walking away and, in a more stern, unappreciative tone of voice, said, "Pick up your cans!"

Men, Miller Lite, in my opinion, cannot be beat as far as the smoothness and taste of beer goes. And, on any other day, I would say that the intoxication level of this beer is second to none. I would recommend Miller Lite to all beer drinkers in search of that "Perfect Drunk" - just as long as it is raining and there are no chores to be done.