Mini-Cruising: A Weekend on the Royal Empress

You've probably recieved them before: promotional offers for 3-day cruises from Fort Lauderdale to Nassau and back, for free. And you probably wondered if it was really something yanyone would want to do.

The answer is: maybe.

We just got back from a cruise on the Regal Empress. If you are looking for a luxury experience on a huge cruise ship with gourmet food and 24-hour pampering, then this cruise is not for you.

However, if you're the kind of person who doesn't care if the food is 5-star as long as it's plentiful and free and doesn't taste bad, and if you think the idea of 300 people having a rowdy good time on a ship just big enough to hold them all sounds great, this is your mini-cruise.

Personally, we had a great time. I paid a little extra to upgrade to an outside cabin, and it was actually more spacious than I expected, although the shower was tiny. Our cabin steward made sure we had clean towels and sheets and on Saturday, he made a bunny for us out of towels that was ultra-cute.

The boat drinks were exceptional, and inexpensive. These bartenders know their stuff. I'm diabetic, so I had to limit myself to only one or two, and my husband did the same as he's not much of a drinker, but a lot of other people on board took full advantage of the excellent alcohol. Still, I didn't see anyone get offensive or anything other than very, very happy.

Almost the entire staff of the ship, with the exception of the Greek captain, was from Romania, the Ukraine, Puerto Rico, or Cuba. They were all very efficient, friendly, and helpful.

While the casino was small, the crowd seemed not to mind crowding up to the rows after rows of slot machines. And, since most of the action was in the pool area and at the pool bar on deck, the Mermaid Lounge and the Commodore Lounge were quite large enough for the more laid-back crowd. I loved the Commodore Lounge, where pianist Stefan performed an impressive repertoire each evening, mostly American standards with the occasional Beatles tune or light pop number thrown in for the younger listeners. He was an excellent entertainer, especially as he interacted with ladies young and old with
just the right amount of consumate charm. He also did a dead-on Frank Sinatra imitation, which explained was because he was "10% Italian."

As for the floor shows on Friday and Saturday night, we found them very amusing. The singers and dancers were performing in the "Grand Lounge," a bit smaller than most high school auditoriums. The stage was not all that large and the ceiling was not all that high, so the choreography had to be carefully designed to fit the space. The singers were quite talented, but it was very, very clear that English was not their first language. Still, they gave it their all, and the girls were very pretty in their sometimes skimpy costumes, so if it wasn't "Broadway," as advertised, perhaps it was "off-Broadway."

When we docked in Nassau, the ship's staff tried to sell us some very expensive shore excursions. They said there was nothing to see but shops and banks in downtown Nassau, and that we needed limousine tours or glass-bottom boats to see anything at all worth seeing. We did not buy, and as soon as we got off the boat, we were offered everything from walking tours to carraige rides to the ferry to Paradise Island (which costs $6 a person round-trip.) Since we had little money and limited time, we decided just to walk around and then shop. In the "nothing to see" downtown area, we saw the Nassau Public Library, which is an octagonal former prison, the Parliament House, and number of other very interesting buildings. We ate at the Bahamian Kitchen near the famous Straw Market, then ventured into that huge, packed, hot market just long enough to buy t-shirts to add to my collection. (T-shirts are my version of a scrapbook.)

Overall, our experience on the Royal Empress was a lot of fun. if you are in the mood to be amused, and not to difficult to amuse, you will find this a great little introduction to cruising.

(And no, we never got sea-sick, or experienced any discomfort other than the few minutes it took us to get our "sea legs" once we were underway.)