Miscarriage: A True Story

Unexpected things happen when we least expect it. I was pregnant one moment and everything ended within a few weeks. It was August 28, 2004 when I had my period and I started to cry badly that I wasn't able to conceive naturally. Then miracle happened. I became pregnant at that cycle. I was overjoyed at the news when I came to know I was pregnant.

I still remember very vividly that my husband was sleeping next to me each night with his palm on my tummy. When I asked him why. He told me that he is keeping our baby warm. I used to smile and enjoyed the little things he did to shower love to the baby.

God must have been jealous. He decided to end the pregnancy at 7 weeks. It was the beginning of 8th week when I had lots of cramps in the abdomen part. I told my husband that the cramps are bad. He decided it was best to see the doctor. Seeing the doctor got us into a horrible ride. I think it was October 18, I saw the general hospital gynae for the first time. The doctor did a scan and said that the sac is there alright, but the baby doesn't look 7 to 8 weeks. There was no heart beat detected, so he thought it might be 5 to 6 weeks of pregnancy. He took blood test and told me to come back tommorrow. He gave me some progestrone to strengthen my body and protect the baby.

The following day, the doctor told me that the blood count hsg was 4000 plus. Meaning, a heart beat should be detected by now. So he sent me to take a detail scan. When I went there, the lady did the scan, and told me that the sac is there with a little foetus there too. So not to worry and go home and rest.

Each day brought me closer to loosing my baby. I was going through mental stress and depression. What is happening to me and my baby. At a junction, I was crying myself to sleep. Why me? Why do I have to go through so much at this beginning stage?

Within the next two days, I was feeling down. Then when I thought everything was going to be fine, I had drops of blood like spotting. I freaked and called my aunty who was a head nurse in a hospital asking her for advice. Suddenly, I couldn't bear the pain at the tummy. It was worse than menstrual cramp. I cried. My beloved worried husband rushed me to the hospital.

I was immediately admitted and monitored. On October 21, 2004 I miscarried and the gynae did a D&C (abortion) operation. I couldn't get over the news at all. Though I was mentally stronger than my husband, I didn't want to cry infront of him as he will tear too. But I couldn't control my emotions and burst out.

Once I was home, I didn't want to go out anymore or talk to anybody or see anybody. I wanted to be shut down from the world. I didn't even talk to my husband well. It was a miserable period which luckily got over within 2 to 3 months.

Then I had enough courage to start trying again. Though I am not pregnant yet. I always think about those happy moments and try to forget the sad and horrifying moments of my first child.

A child is a child, whether born, dead or adopted. How can a mother forget the moment she carried the child in her womb? I will never forget my first child.