Miscarriages: What the Doctor Does Not Tell You

February was filled with many emotions. As I stared in disbelief at the 2 pink lines staring right at me, I was flooded with feelings of pure joy. Just a few short days later my world came crashing to a complete halt. I was starting to experience a miscarriage.

My doctor was very delicate in telling me what I was going to experience from that moment on. He spoke very gently and gave me the facts. I was told all about the bleeding and how long it could last. I was informed of the emotional roller coaster ride that I was sure to experience sooner or later depending on when my hormone levels dropped. What I was not told about what how people would treat me now that I had experienced a miscarriage.

Losing a baby is a very heart breaking thing to experience. It does not matter if you just found out that you were pregnant or if you experienced it later on. It was still your baby, and a loss that no one else would feel quite like you. Something that is even more devastating than losing a baby is family losing the fact that you are still human and have feelings.

After a loss, I found myself completely lost. I went to work where people would avoid me like I had some disease. Sure, they did not know what to say to me. I understand that completely, but at the same time, I still needed to have communication with those I worked with, not be ignored. If that's not bad enough, family just left me out. Having a simple conversation with them just seemed to be the most impossible thing. I was ignored or answered quickly while they were walking away as fast as they could. People with babies would try to hide their babies from me.

My doctor never told me that I may find myself feeling alone and abandoned by those I thought would care. Nor did he tell me that people would not be interested in providing a shoulder to lean on in my time of need. I did not know that people would give you time to grieve and wait a month to call to see how you are doing. So, I am asking you, when your best friend, sister, or co-worker suffers a miscarriage, take a moment to listen, offer a shoulder, and be there for them. You do not have to have the right words to say, just offer to listen when they are ready to talk.