Misheard Lyrics and Mondegreens

We've all done it -- mis-heard a song lyric, and sung it that way, often to others and at the top of our lungs. Two of the most common errors of this type are Creedence Clearwater Revival's "there's a bathroom on the right" and Jimi Hendrix's "'scuse me while I kiss this guy." ["There's a bad moon on the rise", and "while I kiss the sky."]

Did you know that there's a term for this type of error? It's called a mondegreen, a term coined by Sylvia Wright in 1954 in an article she wrote for Harper's Magazine. It seems that Wright's mother used to read to her from a collection of Scottish poems when she was a child, and one of her favorite ballads had a verse that went: "Oh, they ha' slain the Earl o' Murray, and Lady Mondegreen." Wright was quite enchanted with the story of the two slain lovers, and it was only years later that she learned that the poem actually went: "Oh, they ha' slain the Earl o' Murray, and laid him on the green."

Children are particularly susceptible to creating mondegreens, and no wonder. Consider all the information they're exposed to all at once when they start school. New words, new names -- there's George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Richard Stanz. Oh, you don't remember Richard Stanz? My elementary school pledged allegiance to him every day -- "and to the Republic for Richard Stanz..." -- often while also wishing "liver tea and justice for all." We also celebrated the space program with the song, "Oh beautiful for spaceship guys."

Sunday School can get a little confusing, too. There are songs about "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear" ["Gladly the cross I'd bear"], and "What a friend we have in Cheese Whiz" ["in Jesus"]. Come to think of it, cheese seems to get praised an awful lot. There's the tender Christmas carol about "the Little Lord Cheez-Its, asleep in his bed," and the oh-so-accurate "Cheese is lovely, this I know." And let's not forget all the confusion about God's first name. Is it Howard ("Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name") or Andy ("Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me")? It's easy to understand the frustration of the little girl who comes right out and asks, "Our Father, who art in Heaven: Hello, What's your name?"

Christmas songs can be particularly troublesome. First of all, there are all those reindeer -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and so forth, plus Rudolph and Olive. You don't remember "Olive, the other reindeer"? ["All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."] And why on earth would my true love give me only "part of a juniper tree."? ["partridge in a pear tree"]

This brings us to the songs about the First Christmas. First of all, you have all those silly shepherds doing their laundry -- "While shepherds washed their socks by night, all seated on the ground." ["watched their flocks"] And why doesn't that fat jolly old elf appear in any of the nativity scenes? No, not Santa Claus -- Round John Virgin. You know, "Round John Virgin, Mother, and Child"?

There seem to be an unusually high number of Christmas songs about hedonistic pursuits. Some of them are at least R-rated. There's "Get dressed, you married gentlemen" ["God rest ye merry, gentlemen"] and "Let men their sins enjoy" ["Let men their songs employ"]. On a more innocent level, however, we can "strike the harp, enjoy the florist" ["and join the chorus"], or give thanks for one of life's greatest blessings: "Joy to the world! The Lord has gum!" I think my favorite Christmas song, however, is the one about bad drivers: "Good King Wence's car backed out, on the feet of heathens."

It's not just children who create mondegreens, however. A lot of popular song lyrics are mis-heard by adults. Some of the more common mondegreens are: "the girl with colitis goes by" ["kaleidoscope eyes"], "hold me closer, Tony Danza" ["tiny dancer"] and "she's got a tick in her eye" ["ticket to ride"]. Foreign languages can cause a whole new batch of problems, as in the very strange lyric from the Beatle's Michelle: "Sunday monkeys won't play piano song, play piano song." ["Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble."]

What a perplexing business! I guess I'd better stay away from desserts so I don't get more depressed -- as you may know "doughnuts make my brown eyes blue." ["Don't it .."] It's good to know that at least "the ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind; the ants they are blowing in the wind."