Misogyny is Rampant Online

If your eyes are rolling back in your head, and your stomach feels slightly nauseous at this point, join the club! Above are just three of the distasteful comments I stumbled across as I looked for a funny quotation or picture to post on my nephew's MySpace site. My intent had been to make contact with my nephew and (hopefully) brighten his day with a bit of humor, but instead I grew more and more disgusted with each sexist image and misogynistic comment. There was the picture of a TV remote sitting in juxtaposition to a scantily clad woman, with the caption "It's a man's world. No small talk, just control." The remote control itself had buttons labeled "cook," and "clean," as well as several sexual commands that I won't repeat here. The images and comments ranged from mildly disturbing to explicitly hateful and violent, such as the picture of a woman with a ball gag in her mouth, which bore the caption "SHUT UP B@*$H"! Keep in mind, all of this was located under the category of "Funny Comments/Pictures" on websites that are advertised at the social networking website MySpace.com, and are available to everyone; which means, of course, that young children can access these little gems (please note: heavy sarcasm implied). After viewing a few of these sites, I came to the depressing conclusion that most were filled with sexist and misogynistic slurs. There were a few comments here and there that did not directly demean women, but they were definitely in the minority. I thought surely, there must be a website that contains a majority of comments and funny pictures (which are free for use on a social networking site such as MySpace) not aimed at the objectification of women! I continued to search, but only found a lot more of the same.

One of the worst aspects of this phenomenon is that it seems to be so widely accepted. I think that we have been conditioned to accept sexism in silence by those who jump at the chance to label outspoken women as bitches. Of course, there are also those who pooh-pooh anyone who complains about widespread misogyny by saying that these comments are mere words and ideas, and are used by people in the exercise of freedom of speech. I disagree, and I am sure the women and girls who have been terrorized by online harassment would, as well.

Sexual harassment and violence are inevitable results of hateful attitudes toward women, whether online or offline. There are numerous documented incidents of women being threatened with rape and murder, and their personal information (home address, phone number, Social Security number, etc.) being posted online by cyber stalkers with malicious intent. I will not delve into details of specific cases here, in respect for their privacy, but statistics regarding online harassment of women are available at the Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA) website. Jessica Valenti of Feministing.com describes in How the Web Became a Sexists' Paradise how online sexual harassment has quite effectually silenced numerous women and girls; who, out of fear for their very lives, as well as to avoid further trashing of their reputations, have withdrawn from public interaction online (and even otherwise). A blog at Creating Passionate Users includes a horror story of online harassment, as do several of the comments replying to the blog. It is time to stand up for ourselves and for all women, especially those who have been silenced, and make it clear that this will no longer be accepted. Change always begins at the grassroots, as each person takes it on herself or himself to do her or his part.

Thankfully, the fight has already begun by people who are determined to, as one website words it - Take Back the Tech! Take Back the Tech is a website that encourages women to share online harassment experiences in support for one another, and offers suggestions and tools to aid women in the fight against misogyny. For further ideas on effectively confronting misogyny, I also turned to various individuals and organizations that have fought successfully for human rights. For instance, Martin Luther King, Jr. had some powerful advice that applies to fighting oppression of any kind. I find his words especially strengthening, because they remind me that true change cannot be brought about by more hatred. It is very easy to fall into the trap of despising those who mistreat you; however, in so doing, one is lowering herself or himself to the same level as her or his attackers, thereby resolving nothing. King's nonviolent resistance had several important tenets. Familiar to most people is his assertion that it is possible to fight evil without resorting to violence. I found more detail on this approach in the King Encyclopedia on the Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute website. King stressed that one should not try to embarrass or attack one's opponents, but rather focus on opposing their actions. King indicated that one is capable of nonviolent resistance when sustained by a "deep faith in the future," and in the belief that "the universe is on the side of justice." I also found encouragement from the National Organization for Women's (NOW) Statement of Purpose. While written in 1966, it is still relevant today, particularly (in my opinion), the emphasis on preserving the human dignity of women by protesting and working to change hurtful and unrealistic images of women in all aspects of society, such as in popular culture. The first sentence of the Statement's last paragraph follows: "We believe that women will do most to create a new image of women by acting now, and by speaking out in behalf of their own equality, freedom, and human dignity...."

One of my own attempts at addressing the issue of misogyny is by discussing it in my personal blog on MySpace. After the discouraging search for a light, funny comment, I decided to write about that experience, and included the following in my blog:
"I'm sending this out to the guys out there who think it's fine to demean women and girls, as well as the women who have bought into this mindset; men/boys and women/girls whose parents, teachers, churches, and/or society in general have failed to teach the basics such as the Golden Rule. All humans deserve to be treated with respect, and that just happens to include women. Respect does not include calling women names such as whore or slut, nor does it consist of acting like the only women who deserve any respect (little though it may be) are those who have contorted themselves into mere caricatures to fit some twisted little fantasy. Respect involves treating every person - female or male or whatever - as you would like to be treated (the Golden Rule in a nutshell)."

Misogyny is not going to disappear, but our acceptance of it must. Change starts in small ways; for instance, refusing to use an avatar that portrays an unrealistic stereotypical female image. We can each make a difference if we speak up when we see online harassment; for example, if someone sexually harasses a female blogger in a blog's comment section, we need to step in to state unequivocally how very inappropriate such comments are, and to offer our support to the woman or women at whom the harassment was directed. Of course, we will only be credible in these actions if we, ourselves, do not stoop to call other women hurtful labels such as "slut" or "tramp." It is important also to be openly supportive of other women and men who refuse to participate in misogynistic practices, whether online or off. Finally, to be ultimately successful in our endeavor, we need to remember to keep ourselves centered, so as not to succumb to hatred for the haters.

List of Sources

Betty Friedan
National Organization for Women's 1966 Statement of Purpose
National Organization for Women (NOW)

Funny4MySpace
MySpace.com

Martin Luther King, Jr.
King Encyclopedia
The Martin Luther King, Jr., Research and Education Institute

Kathy Sierra
My Favorite Graphs... and the future
Creating Passionate Users

Take Back the Tech
Take Back the Tech.org

Jessica Valenti
How the Web Became a Sexists' Paradise
truthout.org

Online Harassment Statistics
Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA)