Missing Content Queen the First to a Billion Page Views on Associated Content?

Fellow Associated Content contributors Lady Samantha and Maria Roth have been bemused by the missing content monster. Luckily, I can see into the future, and this is what's going to happen.

Okay, we're in the year 2015, and the bright young 22-year-old Anna Key has celebrated reaching A BILLION page views on Associated Content. People are intrigued to how anyone could reach so ridiculously high a number.

The precocious Ms. Key explains: "It's simple, really. I've always been good at working with computers, and I wanted to make a lot of money. I noticed a lot of sites with interesting content, and I was thinking how could I make use of that content - for my own ends? I invented the suckermatron, which sucked down all this content onto my own computer, and then wiped it from all the sites. I could then upload the 'original' content to sites who would pay me. I began work on a prototype in 2008, and, early in 2010, I began to test out an updated version."

Anna is very brazen about what she did next: "I began stealing material from Associated Content, and uploading it as my own work. I was soon getting more page views than anyone else."

In the middle of 2105, Associated Content pulled the plug on accepting any new contributors, and, by the autumn, it was announced that AC had been made bankrupt. A statement from Associated Content announced: "Anna Key has wiped us out. We will be unable to pay anyone else."

So, how did things turn out for Ms. Key? As the miscreant was counting her bucks, she heard a clamor outside her fortified mansion. An indistinguishable chant started up.

The chant grew in volume: "Give us back our content!" The AC Mob broke down the gates and flooded into the mansion. They found the suckermatron first, and soon after a shaking Anna. At the point of a pen, she was told, in no uncertain terms, to return everyone's content. Thus AC was saved, and contributors got paid. Some who had wondered why they were on a measly 20,000 page views, suddenly found themselves on over a million PVs.

Anna Key ended up putting her own content on the Nickel for 10 site - one nickel for 10 articles down payment, irrespective of page views. But, sadly, the site soon went under, and Anna's 1,000 articles could find no other takers. She was never to be REALLY published.

Paul Rance, meanwhile, had secretly smuggled the suckermatron out of Anna's mansion. He thought: "Anna's mistake was that she was just too greedy. 500 million page views will do me just fine..."