Misunderstanding of Freudian Concepts and Their Adverse Effect on Our Society

Sigmund Freud's strategem on the developmental theory of

bonding of daughter to father and son to mother has been used by many counselors and those who profess to be counselors because they undergo mental health services.

Freud's laborious work in analytically dissecting the human animal's

attachment hierarchy is often times hidden because of his prototype of

the characters in Oedipus the King. Obviously, the King marries his

mother after killing his father and then plucks out his eyes when he

discovers the truth, such a stark depiction of human activity has nothing to

do with us modern thinkers, lol.

The main precept in Freud's therapy was to establish a bond between the

son and his mother. The speculation was that this bond could then be

attached to his future wife. If there is no bond between a son and his

mother, the guessing goes, the adult male will not have a significant

attachment to his wife. Most of us remember seeing the Little Rascals

when television was black and white and worth viewing. The only real

couple in the Little Rascals were Darla's parents. And, how many of us

were secretely amazed that Darla's father called his wife, Momma.

Really? Does one sleep with momma? In Europe they do.

What needs to be depicted in our popular culture and that would mean

through television, theater and movies is the truth that not all bed

partners are sexually engaged. For goodness sake!. Just think how many

centuries have passed since Euripides wrote the play Oedipus Rex. Just

think how many years have passed since Freud tried valiantly to break

through the taboo of bed and sex. Children do sleep with their parents

at times. It is not healthy for the couples marriage to make this a

permanent cost saving practice, however.

Just as sons occassionally need to cuddle up to mom, so do daughters

need to cuddle up to dad in bed. The bond involves a time when defenses

are down, sleep. It is really a passage of comfort and trust if both

individuals are healthy and not given to acting out. There are always

if's. But if this bond is not established the daughter will not

develop attachment to her future husband in the same way as a daughter who

has been raised by a loving father.

My husband's godmother told me not to pay too much attention to my

daughter when she cried in her crib. I didn't listen to her and I rocked

her until she fell asleep. My husband payed attention to his god

mother, of course, because he had been raised by a mother who let him sleep

with her and who pampered her only son. He did not bond very well with

his daughter.

Perhaps, we as a culture need to look at our confused ideas of sleeping

with our parents. We need to deal with the animal's need for sleep as

a means of letting our system's factory to replenish our cells and

calm our excitable chemically controlled brain. We can allow our adult

children to sleep with us especially when we feel the need to share our

off guarded moments.