MMA & Kimbo Slice

On this particular Saturday night, we spent little in planning and preparing our evening's activities. It took little for us to realize that all we needed for the night was provided through a 60 inch screen at home. It was the night that CBS would broadcast EliteXC's MMA bouts, and we were all anxiously tuned in to observe one particular beast and his eagerly anticipated feasting of a hapless victim in a fenced cage.

All of my friends gathered around the television like kids would a campfire, consumed by the heat and intensity of the night's events. After each successive undercard bout, we gathered around the fire a little tighter, inched in a little closer, and awaited in excitement the magical tale that Kimbo Slice would spin as our night's main storyteller. We had all heard his stories before, but now we wanted to hear them from the man himself. All ears and eyes were on him--would it leave us speechless in awe or in double-awe?
Kimbo Slice (real name Kevin Ferguson), the word-of-mouth legend, conveniently popular at a time when boxing has taken a turn for the worse and mixed martial arts heavy on the rise, began his story. This is the same man who pummeled his opponent so hard in a backyard brawl that the man looked like a patient for plastic surgery "before" the operation after. This is the same man who makes his bodyguards look like they prefer him as their bodyguard. This is the same man I ran into at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas last August, casually sauntering the casino halls in his black Tapout t-shirt (that with his bulging body made appear as tight as a bikini) with his modest entourage, enjoying a few followers but relative obscurity. This is, in fact, the same fighting behemoth of whom I knew little about at the time--I just knew he looked too unearthly big and menacing to be just another somebody.

Upon returning home, a few YouTube clips here and there confirmed my heart's inner sense. What I saw in these clips was not a man but an animal possessed. Another species that was brood with a diabolical desire to satiate his appetite for violence and sensuality. He appeared bent on inducing pain. He even seemed borderline psychotic. And we idolized him for it.

So after months of demanding, now Pilate had finally given us our Barabbas (this analogy is almost too eerily fitting). With his freedom we have demanded he fight. We have fed him lunch meat, piqued his killer instincts, and teased him (and ourselves) with his raw carnality. It seemed like it was just in a matter of nights that he became Barnum and Bailey's new wonder of the world.

Yet what we heard and witnessed from Kimbo on Saturday was not a roar but a whimper.

James Thompson, a fighter from the UK had all the advantages on paper in terms of weight, age, and experience. He'll last a minute, we thought. The minute passed and still we waited. He's just playing with his food, we snickered. End of round, the rat with the fetus-shaped left ear survived. Kudos to him, but sooner or later Kimbo will go in for the kill, we agreed.

But when all the dust settled and Kimbo's punches found himself as exhausted as the other was shaken, we were left with an unexpected turn of events: Kimbo trapped in the corner of the cage as Thompson sat on top of him landing elbows. No, this could not be happening to the already heralded poster boy of MMA! Kimbo, for better or worse, withstood the onslaught of elbows and punches for nearly a minute and got out of the round seemingly unscathed, though clearly gasping for breath. Round 3 sounded and Kimbo delivered a slew of punches that left us all amazed at how Thompson could still be standing, but the fight was stopped prematurely by the referee who called the bout as Kimbo's last connected.

It was a collective sigh of relief. It was also a major letdown. For all the talk of invincibility that surrounded the mythical Kimbo Slice, we were exposed to a human being--gasp!--who looked haggard, confused, and premature in his display. Even during the interview, Kimbo did not make any attempt to cover the fact that he was extremely worn down, as he was panting for breath and appearing relieved that he had survived a struggle that should have been an easy feast. In fact, some of us were angered that the ref had to intervene in what wasn't clearly yet a victory in Kimbo's favor. But, of course, MMA couldn't risk the chance of having its next superstar get shown up, right?

Look, I would honestly like to root for Kimbo Slice as much as the next average guy. His is a wonderful story of struggle, persistence, hope, and success. He is the ultimate rags-to-riches story. Not to mention that he's a bonafide street thug--straight G, yo! And as alien as the thought, he's also got a family (2 boys), a heart, and is still guided by a moral compass, as ironic or paradoxical as that might seem for a pugilist.

But he is just not ready for the MMA. I'm sure some of us recall Lewis vs. Tyson in 2002. Iron Mike was making up for lost time and still had enough aura and mystique to captivate audiences and generate hype surrounding his name. However, as much as that allowed him to buy his cake no one ever stopped to consider whether it was too big for his shrunken stomach. It masqueraded his actual inability to win a bout against someone clearly superior. And we all know the sad story of Iron Mike after that--let us not make that mistake again.

Luckily, Kimbo survived his "cake" and most of his reputation is still intact. After this particular event, though, I think the lesson could not have been more loud and clear, especially for CBS and EliteXC: there is no quick n' easy cash cow. As good as Kimbo is for the marketing and popularity of the sport, he is not yet developed to ride its waves. Imagine if he had lost? He would have as easily exited just as he had entered the realm of extreme fighting.

The smart thing to do would be to invest in him: give him the proper training, coaching, and conditioning. Have him work with the right people and surround him with honest but constructive critics. Then, and maybe then, would he have proved himself before even considering dominating the sport's main events.

Sometimes the wait is agonizing but the results would surely be worth it. After all, with what we were given on Saturday night, I think it's safe to say that we'd rather another CSI:Miami rerun before a Kimbo/Thompson one anytime soon.