Mock Syllabus

School Profile

Name: Northdoor High School

School Location and Environment: Happy City, a town of 100,000. A suburb of San Francisco. The town is famous for being the original historic model for the "little boxes made of ticky tacky" song and, in the present day, for having a multiplex.

Type: This is an underfunded public school.

Total Enrollment: 400 students too many.

Overview of Our Advanced Program:

Who can enroll: You have to be a pushy overachiever. We encourage all students to reach their highest potential. Therefore, the course is open to anyone who can nag their teacher or counselor enough at the end of the year when they're tired, or to any student whose parent calls the principal more than twice. The student should be recommended by his or her previous year's teacher and to have finagled at least an A or a B on the final grade report. In order to enter the class, you will be judged by a writing sample that you produce in May of the previous school year. If your sister is going to write the essay, please make sure that she does not plagiarize. Original work only!

Class Size: The classes vary in size, but it's guaranteed that they will be too big.

Objectives:

1. Students will learn to sustain discussions in the class on topics important to
their self-development without the teacher even knowing it. Students will advance past simple note-passing strategies to more advanced methods of communication such as the floor note, mouthing words and silent signals. Students will also utilize technology to sustain discussion, and, while working in the computer lab, will practice such discussion techniques as IM and blog reading. Students will learn to ignore or "block out" distractions such as the teacher, but learn the strategy of when to change the screen back to "research" when the teacher walks by.

2. Through the process of reading, writing and discussing texts, students will become experts on the use of Sparknotes and Cliff Notes. Special emphasis will be placed on the use and analysis of the brief summary section of these books or downloaded documents.

3. Special test-preparation skills will be emphasized. Such topics as whether consuming only coffee and gingko biloba will help students' test scores, and how total lack of sleep can make your test score higher will be discussed. Another important topic we will cover is how to take important tests dressed in a prom outfit and fake nails. We will psychologically prepare for the big test by taking a lot of tests in March and April (some call this standardized testing required by the State of California, but I call this psychological preparation).When they are done with this preparation, students will be able to reflexively bubble in C on any question, simple or complex.

Summer Reading:

I assign a variety of summer reading books which I choose almost at random from other teachers' syllabuses. My goal in assigning the summer reading is to teach students how to cope with extreme boredom spread out over 300 pages. I look for books that are at least 100 pages too long. The special summer reading assignment is especially designed to be done the night before school starts. Make sure to only write about the first 20 pages of the book- the part you actually read!

Writing:

My goal is that students will learn to deal with various rhetorical and imperative situations in writing. Modes will be emphasized (not moods).

· Journal Writing-Daily journal writing will promote writing fluency. Do not copy your daily journal out of the dictionary that is stored on the rack below your desk. The teacher may notice that your work is not original.

· Autobiographical essay- Here's where that essay your older brother wrote about the death of your dog, which your older sister has also used to good effect, will come in handy. Don't forget to include the especially touching detail about the unused dog dish and the leash forlornly hanging by the door.

· Really big research paper- This is a very large assignment which involves learning the multiple uses of index cards. Peer communication in the library will also be an emphasis during this assignment, as will the aforementioned computer lab communication skills

· Essays written in many modes-While doing these assignments it is always very important to use the word thesis a great deal.

Reading List:

A Very Big Expensive Reader edited by Z X Irishguy-various selections

The Grapes of Grouch by John Whinebeck- a Midwestern family breadwinner is laid off and tensions mount as the family crosses the country in an RV

The Jungle Gym by Uptown Sunclear- an immigrant worker reveals his muckraking account of what's really on the playground.