Modernizing Beauty Pageants

Beauty pageants were created nearly a century ago, when a woman was considered to be in her prime of beauty in her late teens and early 20's--before marriage and having children. Nowadays, women are admired for their beauty and worth well into their 30's, yet the pageant world hasn't caught up with the times. The Miss America pageant has evolved quite a bit over the years to focus less on external beauty and more on the woman's overall appeal: personality, intelligence, talent, commitment to serving the community, etc. I applaud them for that.

But why not create a pageant for women in their late 20's and mid 30's? Or women that are married? Like a "Mrs. America"? Married women are still beautiful- both inside and out. And there is no reason why they can't get up on stage in a fancy dress and answer some questions about saving the world from hunger or violence.

I'm envisioning all sorts of alternative pageants. Pageants that reflect the values of the 21st century we live in.

The "Women at Work" Pageant
First would be the career woman's pageant: "Women at Work". Instead of the winner getting scholarship money, she would receive a grant that she could apply to her business and the budget that falls under her direct management. Instead of an evening gown competition, there would be a business suit competition and instead of a talent competition, the woman would make some sort of presentation about her career. In Power Point, of course- and animated slide transitions. The women in this pageant would have to be single, living alone and fully self-supporting.

The "Mrs. Mother" Pageant
Contestants in this pageant would be mothers. The only qualification is that they must have at least one child, age 6 or above (explanation to follow). There would still be a swim suit competition (because hey- moms take their kids to the pool!) and an evening gown competition (because moms can still go out on the town!). But instead of talent, the child would be interviewed about the mother. This is why the child needs to be at least 6! Sample questions might be "What do you like best about your mother" and "How do you know that your mother loves you?" The winner would receive money for her children's education.

The "Mr. Man" Pageant
I've seen men's pageants- but usually they are done as a joke. When I traveled to Greece with a tour group of young people, there was a "Man-Oh-Man" pageant where three men competed on manliness. The females in the audience voted for the winner by cheering. On college campuses, fraternities hold these pageants for their philanthropies. But I am envisioning a real men's pageant that would be televised and taken seriously. There would be a bathing suit competition, a tuxedo competition, and instead of talent, it would be "manly abilities"- like demonstrating how to change a flat tire, unclog a sink, and other things that men are really good for! Of course, men are talented beings, too- but typically a "manly man" isn't valued for things like singing or dancing. And this pageant would be something that men would want to watch. Women love watching Miss America- so it makes sense that men should want to watch "Mr. Man". Especially if the tire-changing demos are innovative in their technique.

The recent box office hit Little Miss Sunshine certainly addressed the issue of pageants, bringing children's pageants to the forefront of people's minds. I find it ironic that most of the children in the pageant at the end were there because their mothers were pressuring them. However, the main character truly wanted to do this for herself and demonstrate her dancing talent. Wouldn't pageants be more exciting if the contestants weren't so plastic and the girls/women were representing their true selves? The Little Miss Sunshine pageant is the highlight of the film. The entire movie builds up to it, and it ends up being extremely entertaining, in a non-traditional sense.

Maybe I have gone a bit beyond what is realistic. But it's fun to think about, and it's definitely true that the age limit for Miss America doesn't reflect today's definitions of beauty and youth. Hell- you can enter it at age 17, and we typically don't think of 17-year-olds saving the world. I'm thinking that 21-30 might be a better age range. At least allow Miss America to enjoy a drink after she gets crowned!