Mom Vs Baby: Battle Over Bedtime

I naively thought that I would know what to do with my first baby when he would at last grace his father and me with his presence. I was wrong. I had no clue! I remember changing my baby's diaper, feeding him, and putting him to sleep in another room so nobody could watch me do something wrong and criticize me.
I fed my first born every time he cried. He got fat. I held him until he fell asleep. He got used to it. So after several months, I had an enormous baby that I had to rock to sleep every nap and bedtime. I lived in blissful exhaustion.

When my second son arrived, I did things differently. I introduced him to his crib the first night we came home and established a routine for naps and bedtime. It's amazing that I now have my hands free for my 2-year-old during my baby's nap time.

Getting baby to sleep is a brain-boggling situation. The goal is to show your baby how to fall asleep on her own, and in her crib. Babies will put up a fight, especially if they have already gotten used to a routine. It's never too late to break that routine. Here are five possible battles that you could face:

Battle 1: The Thanksgiving dinner napper:

If your baby only falls asleep while eating, you may have a problem. When he wakes up and finds no milk, your baby will not be able to sooth himself back to sleep on his own. Plus, he may not actually be hungry when he is crying out for milk.

How to win this battle:

If you notice that your baby is starting to drift off when he is in the middle of a meal, take his milk from him. Burp him. Change his diaper. Talk to him. If he still acts hungry, start feeding him again.

When he begins to drift off, take the milk away, burp him, and while he is drowsy, put him in his crib. This will show baby that the crib is the only place to sleep. Make him comfortable and walk away.

Your baby will resist falling asleep without milk, but he will learn to fall asleep in his bed if you stick to the routine.

Battle 2: The catnap sleeper:

Your baby is finally ready to sleep. She's fed. She's changed. You're ready to catch up on some chores or just get a minute to yourself. You put her down in the crib, make her comfortable, turn the lights off, close the door, and set your phone to vibrate.

You begin to fold that laundry that has been sitting on the couch for the last few hours. You get through half the pile when you hear your baby start to whine.

How to win this battle:

Your first reaction as a parent might be that your baby doesn't need all the sleep that you are offering her. But that might not be true.

Look at the amount of sleep that your baby gets. Older babies will take two to four naps per day. Including naps and overnight sleep time, babies should receive between 12 and 16 hours of sleep in every 24-hour period.

To help baby sleep longer, try patting them back to sleep or leaving them in the crib while they are awake to try to go back to sleep on their own.

If your baby is sleeping well through the night but not during naptime, try to create a similar environment to nighttime sleeping: buy thicker curtains to block out light, keep the house quiet and turn lights off.

Create a pre-nap routine similar to that of your bedtime routine: if you bathe your baby and then read to her before bedtime, try washing hands and reading a book before naptime.

Also, check if there are any obvious signs why your baby might wake up. Is it too warm or too cool, too loud or too quiet?

Battle 3: The traveling insomniac:

Even though your little one falls asleep in her crib and takes naps without fuss at home, you may have an insomniac if you travel. She might resist sleep when they are in a different environment. She might wake in the night to find that they are not where they should be.

How to win this battle:

Try to re-create your at-home bedtime routine as much as you can when you are away. You can probably still give your baby a bath with her favorite toys and read a story to her before tucking her in. Bring familiar items from home: a favorite animal, familiar music, a blanket or a portable crib. Give ample wind-down time. If she wakes in the night, try patting her back to sleep. Do everything that you would normally do at home.

Battle 4: The Lay-Z-Boy sleeper:

Your baby will only fall asleep when he's held. He cries when he is put down in his crib. He probably sleeps with your at night. You can't really blame him for wanting to sleep near you. What's more comfortable to your baby than sleeping next to your warm body?

Your baby is used to sleeping in your body's warmth. That is where he just spent nine months of his life. This battle is usually won sooner and easier the sooner you start.

How to win this battle:

Make sure that baby is fed, changed and comfortable. Make sure the house is quiet. Your baby is rubbing his eyes and getting fussy. He may even begin to drift off. When your baby is drowsy put him in his crib. Walk away. If he starts to cry, wait a few minutes and then without talking or looking directly in your baby's eyes, pat him to sleep.

If you allow your baby to be rocked to sleep, then he will need rocked every time he needs to sleep.

Battle 5: The on-the-go snoozer:

Your baby won't fall asleep in his crib. He won't fall asleep in your arms. He won't fall asleep after eating. But, put him in the car seat to drive over to the grocery store and your baby is out like a light. If your baby only sleeps in the car, chances are your baby has simply gotten used to the routine.

How to win this battle:

Look for clues that tell when your baby is sleepy: is he rubbing his eyes, acting clingy or getting fussy? Set a nap and bedtime schedule like taking a bath and reading a book. Stick to it. If possible, plan your outings right after baby wakes up, so he won't have a chance to fall asleep in the car. A 20-minute catnap in the car can spoil the two-hour rest that you planned.

It seems to me that most babies turn into kids that can sleep. As parents, we make choices that fit baby into our lives best, for those who can't fathom sharing a bed with a squirming, flailing body, or those who can't stomach anything as remotely scheduled as a bedtime routine. Do what works best for your baby's best interest and your sanity.