Mommy Files: Basic Strategies

I've been a stay-at-home and a work-at-home mother since 1999, the year my first child was born. I'm not going to sugar coat the situation at all because, believe me, there have been some significant challenges. I have managed to find some solutions for keeping the stress down over the years, though.

1: Keep the kids busy: keeping the kids engaged in an activity is the best way I've found to keep the stress levels down. If the kids are busy working on a project that interests them, they're less likely to complain about being bored or start fighting with each other.

2: Offer rewards and praise: if you're constantly correcting your children or pointing out what they're doing wrong constantly, you're setting up a negative environment and the kids will be more likely to act out. I'm not saying don't correct them when they're doing something wrong, but I am reminding you to point out what they're doing right and praise them for their accomplishments just as much. This is very important in terms of their self esteem and belief in their own abilities.

3: Be consistent: if you're going to point out consequences to your children when they do something wrong, follow through. If you're going to offer a reward when they accomplish something correctly or without fighting, follow through. It seems simple and obvious, right? It's a common mistake. I've seen and read about parents who have said one thing one day and done something completely different the next; which, of course, completely confuses the child.

4: Take breaks: giving yourself breaks from situations (with the kids, with work, with housework, etc.) will keep the stress levels down and keep you balanced. It could be something as simple as sitting down to read a magazine (unless you're child is so small that they don't understand grabbing it out of your hands isn't a game) or drinking a cup of coffee. I've heard about some parents hiding out in the bathroom for five minutes because that's the only place where they're not bothered. Find what works for you and practice it daily, if needed.

5: Seek support: working from home means you're doing what most people just don't seem to get - you're working! Yes, you're bringing in a wage and dealing with the same hassles as the rest of the working world . . . only you have to mix it up with raising children and dealing with housework. it isn't easy, despite the many people around you saying it is. Don't let them underestimate what you need and when you need extra help. Don't be afraid to hire a babysitter on days when your work load is particularly high or on days when you've fallen behind on household tasks. There's nothing wrong with seeking outside support when life is throwing a lot at you at once.

6: Get enough rest: as the old saying goes, sleep when your kids are sleeping. I know, this would be the best time to get extra work done. Don't be fooled, though. If you're not getting quality or extra rest, you're not doing quality work, keeping a clear mind or preventing stressful situations.

7: Eat healthy and exercises: eating healthy includes drinking enough water and reducing the amount of sugar you're consuming. I admit that eating a candy bar in the middle of the day gives me an extra boost, but it also causes a crash and I'm more tired than when I started. When I reduced my sugar intake and increased how much fruits and vegetables I was eating, I noticed improvement in all areas of my life (how I felt, how I was sleeping, how patient I was, how much energy I had and so on).

8: Keep a master schedule: if you're working on a lot of projects, maintaining the household finances, handling your children's schedules and scheduling doctor's appointments for the family . . . you have quite a bit knocking around in your mind and written on notes everywhere. You run the risk of forgetting things, doing things at the last minute or having to reschedule things. Keep a "master calender" in a prominent place in the house and write down everything that's going on. Use a daily planner to get more specific.

These are some very basic things to think about when you're dealing with so much. Sometimes breaking it down in simple terms is all you need. However, you may still need extra information. I've provided links to help those who didn't get enough out of what's here.