Moms: Ways to Balance Work and Life

Lately the question was raised whether or not working from home leads to abuse in young children. More specifically, abuse by neglect. It's a very sad fact that in today's society any child goes ignored, unfed, in dirty clothes with rotting teeth in a filthy house, etc. But the author of that article was dishonest about the responses of moms.

We need to set the record straight.

The author of the article claimed to have gone to "several" work-at-home sites and ask people how long they were online every day. She stated her average response was 7 hours a day, but then listed unspecific phrases such as "a lot" and "too long" as common answers. She chose a high number to shock people and support her negative opinion of moms who work at home.

It's very sad because - as a wahm now, going on 10 years - I know there are realistic periods of adjustment. There are times when every parent, no matter where they work, feels their child isn't getting enough attention. That doesn't equate to abuse ... and a lot of times, let's be honest, we're our own worst critics. Asking your child to wait for two minutes while you finish scanning documents into your computer is not a life threatening situation. It most likely isn't going to destroy your child's self-esteem. It's not a sign that you're a bad mom, or that you shouldn't work at home either.

This author claimed "Of the ones that answer honestly the work at home moms actually feel the same guilt about being on line all day and sometimes even all night long." She did nothing to substantiate that statement, and after reading it, I felt like maybe she was talking about me. I shared, trying to defend her against an angry mommy mob, I know! silly me, that there was an adjustment period for me when I was working so much, working nights and still having time taken away from my relationship with my kids. I knew that wasn't healthy and changed, but I do not feel GUILTY and I don't feel I was abusing them either. I was sacrificing as much as possible, and when it wasn't giving me the time that I needed, I changed my routine. Period. My kids weren't without food, shelter, or any kind of emotional connection to their mother and I'm angry that she (possibly lol I'm a bit of an ego-maniac) made it seem that way.

She was wrong. No matter her personal experience, MOST wahms do not feel they are harming their children in any way. MOST wahms do what they do specifically FOR their children. As do most moms who work outside the home. :)

Strategies for Balance

These things have helped me over the years, and I hope other moms will chime in on what they've done to bring a sense of balance to their homes between work and family ... wherever your work takes you!

* Find a job that suits your schedule. At one point, I'd tried transcription, but a house with young children - for me - made it next to impossible. Since then I've focused almost exclusively on writing, ebay and affiliate marketing (not MLM, but using websites to sell products for a fee to the company). These are things I can do while the kids are asleep, or busy with their own activities.

* Focus on your children when they're speaking. Sometimes it's very hard for me to pull myself away from a deadline, but if one of my children wants to tell me a story - that takes priority. I put the computer on sleep, LOOK AT MY CHILD, and force myself to really listen by asking questions.

* Request privacy when needed. I rarely take short deadlines anymore because, with three kids, two cats and a dog, who knows what's going to happen? When I have something that I need to get done though, I set something up for my kids to do and ask them for privacy for a REASONABLE amount of time. They know they can come to me in an emergency but artwork displays and sharing stories and asking if we can go to the park have to wait until the time is up.