Monday Monologues - December 29, 2008

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"

- Charles Schultz

Has everyone awoken from their holiday stupor yet? Sure, some of us are lucky enough to have both last week and this week off, but those are the lucky few. Most of us had to put on our happy faces and rejoin the working public. Does that mean we have to go back to taking life seriously? Not at all.

- Pepsi recently announces that they have ended their 10-year sponsorship deal with soccer player David Beckham. Apparently the move was amicable and Beckham has said he enjoyed working with the soft drink manufacturer. Unfortunately for Pepsi, a rumored deal to loan Beckham out to Coca-Cola fell through before his contract could be terminated.

- Sunday's loss to the Green Bay Packers saw the Detroit Lions become the first 0-16 team in NFL history, becoming the first team since the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers to go without a win. When asked prior to the game of his team's chances of winning, coach Rod Marinelli said that he thought Elizabeth Taylor had a better shot of finding true love in a husband than the Lions did to find a victory.

- The Yankees announced last week that they will sell bleacher tickets for their first two games at the new Yankee Stadium, exhibitions against the Cubs, for 25 cents a seat. The remaining cost of the tickets is to be subsidized through public funding.

- Plaxico Burress found more trouble on his doorstep this week when he was hit by a lawsuit from a woman he was in a traffic accident with, as well as a report that police found multiple firearms and additional ammunition in his home during a search stemming from his nightclub shooting. The NFL Player's Association has been in contact with the league about withdrawing their appeal of his suspension by the Giants, saying, "that bastard is screwed."

- The world of golf is not without its share of controversy last week when it was revealed that the winner of the Remax Women's Long Drive Championship in fact used to be a man. When reached for comment, champion Lana Lawless doesn't feel she(?) should be singled out because she is in fact a woman now. She also said that she didn't feel this should hurt her real dream of becoming a masseuse on the LPGA tour.

- The Patriots put their playoff fate in the hands of Brett Favre and the Jets on Sunday, needing New York to beat Miami in order to claim a playoff spot at 11-5. Unfortunately for New England, Brett Favre's head wasn't in the game, as he threw 3 interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown to make up the difference in a 24-17 loss to Miami. At press time, Brett Favre was still going back and forth on whether or not he would retire before, during, or after the game, if at all.

- The Red Sox were trumped in their efforts to sign Mark Texeira last week when the archrival New York Yankees swept in with the higher offer. Boston later retaliated, saving a few dollars by picking up a Penny. Alright, I'll admit, that one was poor, but someone had to drop that line!

- Raiders owner Al Davis was unable to attend Sunday's season-ending victory at Tampa Bay due to following the advice of his doctor's, saying the long flights to and from Tampa would hinder his recovery from a knee ailment. While at first this was a welcome plus to the victory, Davis later made his present felt by holding a press conference where he preceded to fire his next head coach before that person was even hired.