Monday Monologues - January 31, 2011

The weekend before the Super Bowl is often referred to "The Dead Zone." No weekend during the year typically has less to watch or talk about than this weekend.

This year was an exception.

The weekend in sports this year featured not one, but two all-star games, the X-Games, and the return to golf for Tiger Woods, among other delicious tidbits. That gives me plenty to pick apart in this week's Monday Monologues.

- Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat recently started wearing tinted goggles during games. This was done so that he could easily transition to his night job at the skeet shooting shack.

- Jeff Fisher will step down as Coach of the Tennessee Titans. The team has yet to announce a replacement, but it is believed that his mustache will take over duties in the interim.

- O.J. Mayo blamed a recent failed drug test on an energy drink he bought at a local gas station. Meanwhile, Britney Spears blamed a failed STD test on the bathroom at the same facility.

- Yankees President Randy Levine told the Texas Rangers Chuck Greenberg, "If [Greenberg] wants to impress us, he can do that by keeping the Rangers off welfare." The welfare department responded by saying, "if the Yankees want to impress us, they can stop taking tax-payers money and pump more into the economy."

- NASCAR is looking into reinvigorating their scoring system to put a greater emphasis on winning races. The new system is also said to work on a 3^rd grade math level to make it easier for its fan base to understand.

- The Philadelphia Eagles will reportedly slap the franchise tag on quarterback Michael Vick this off season. Reports on whether or not he'll sign the tendered contract will likely dog him for many months.

- The NHL All-Star game was played on Sunday, with Team Lidstrom beating Team Staal 11-10. In an effort to make the game more exciting for fans, the teams were chosen with a live draft and they decided to play the game completely without goalies.

- Tiger Woods returned to golf this weekend, finishing 44^th at the Farmer's Insurance Open. He will now take a week off to work on his iron work with new swing coach and ex-wife, Elin Nordegren