Monday Monologues - November 17, 2008

Ahh, here we are again; another week, another Monday. Can't you just feel the excitement brimming? After another weekend of NFL action and other happenings in the sports world, its time to bring it all back into my twisted perception of it all.

- Brewers General Manager Doug Melvin today blasted the New York Yankees six-year offer of $140 million to free agent pitcher C.C. Sabathia. In response, Yankees chairman Hank Steinbrenner told Melvin to get back in coach with Lenny and Squiggy where he belongs.

- Vegas in an uproar today after a blown call in the Steelers-Chargers game resulted in the Steelers not covering the spread for the game. As a result, Tim Donaghy will be added to league offices with the title of Special Replay Assistant - Spread Consultant.

- Ostracized Knicks guard Stephon Marbury is said to be humbled by his playing status hanging in limbo while he and the Knicks work on a buyout. Meanwhile, Webster's Dictionary is scrambling to redefine the work humble to include overrated basketball players who are receiving a $21.9 million sitting fee.

- Over the weekend, the World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies raised ticket prices for the 2009 season, despite Commissioner Bud Selig's pleas to owners not to. A spokesman for the club said that they were not looking to gouge fans after a world championship, but rather that the increased prices would put them more in line with other teams with similar parks and performance. Additionally, some of the increased funds would be earmarked to payback Fox for the decreased ratings the team brought during the World Series.

- Former WWE and NCAA Wrestling Champion Brock Lesnar became the UFC Champion over the weekend, after defeating 45-year-old Randy Couture at UFC 91. Immediately afterward, Lesnar threatened to embark on a short-lived attempt at making a career in the NFL unless Dana White would renegotiate his contract.

- The Detroit Lions were recently informed that due to their continually retched performance, that CBS has opted not to broadcast them on Thanksgiving Day, opting instead for the traditional yule log, which has a less predictable ending than most Lions games.

- Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is getting the Martha Stewart treatment after the Securities and Exchange Commission opted Monday to charge Cuban with insider trading, citing his selling of 600,000 shares of Mamma.com in June 2004. Cuban defended his sale of the stock pointing towards the Mavericks acquisition of Jason Kidd a year ago, saying "I think that trade show that I have no insider information on when to buy in or when to get out of a position."