Monday Ramblings From the Byrd Nest

How can an irritating little gnat stay in my convertible when I'm driving down the highway at 60 mph? Somehow that pesky little creature can stay in front of my face with all that wind whipping around us, while on the other hand, my cap I have on to hold my hair in place will go flying through the air.

Why is a bar of soap curved? Who's the genius that came up with that one? There's nothing more irritating than trying to push a bar of soap around the parts of your body that aren't curved in alignment with that stupid bar of soap. And, of course, it just makes it easier to drop it, and no matter which direction it falls, it's going to land directly on the top of your foot, which I've discovered is a very sensitive spot.

Why do people who are accused of killing someone get bail? If a person is suspected of killing someone, shouldn't we keep tabs on them and make sure they get a speedy trial? I mean, around here after three offenses of drunk driving, they automatically put you in the pokey. Although the guy accused of killing somebody should get his day in court, I say let's make sure he's not out there getting the rest of us.

Why do people buy those ugly box cars? You know the ones I mean where it looks like a little kid took a box and drew wheels on it. I've seen several of them, and it seems to me they come in a world of oddball colors. I've always figured somebody would have to make me a humdinger of a deal to get me to buy one of those bright orange or yellow cars.

I'm thinking of having a free yard sale. I have a lot of stuff I'd like to get rid of, but I don't want to mess with pricing it. The ad in the paper would say "Everything free, but if you come by, you have to leave with something." How you think I'd do? My luck everyone would believe in that old saying that if something is free, it must not be worth having.

Here in Mississippi, it's hot. I get a good laugh at people who year after year complain about the heat in Mississippi. I mean, it's not like it doesn't do this every year, but the weather becomes the main source of conversation everywhere you go. They'll catch you outside standing on the asphalt parking lot and go on and on about the heat. Come on, people, they can see the sweat soaking through my clothes and yet they go on talking. I like to throw new residents off and say, "Oh, this is nothing, wait until July." I love that look on their faces.

Well, I hear it's Simon Cowell's last season on "American Idol." Seems a shame that the show may just become a real talent show. What fun is that?

Hope everyone has a great week, and thanks for reading.