Money in Relationships: Why You Should Talk with Your Partner Before You Tie the Knot

Kayla goes out with a guy named Melvin for about two years. Kayla has always admired her mother for taking care of her eleven brothers and sisters, and tells Melvin that she plans to be a housewife too. Melvin sees the plus side of that: ready-made meals, a woman who takes care of their children, and never having to worry about where she is. But, when Kayla and Melvin get serious in the relationship and decide to marry, Kayla ends up pregnant. Melvin marries Kayla and Kayla leaves her job on maternity leave. As Kayla stated previously, she wants to be a housewife, and ends up quitting. Melvin quickly realizes how difficult it is to take care of a child, a wife, and himself. He wants her to go back to working. She refuses. They're separated within a year, and now are planning a divorce. Who is wrong?

Sadly, this situation is not a fictional tale. This actually happened to an associate of mine. One of the main reasons that couples divorce, besides infidelity, is money. Many couples get together with thoughts of physical attraction, sexual attraction, and companionship. Couples think that since they get along great and have a loveable relationship that they are automatically suitable as spouses. Pump your brakes. Before you take the big leap over the broom, sit down with your fiancé/fiancée and talk with them about money issues.

Fellas, if you are going out with a woman who would prefer to stay at home while you work, but you prefer someone like your mother who was an independent woman and made more than your father, this woman is not the one to marry. Ladies, if you feel that a man should take care of all of your financial needs while you take care of the kids or yourself, but he'd rather finish school and let you foot the bills until he gets that degree, this is not the man for you. The conflict in marriage over financial issues can easily be avoided if couples would set their goals on the table.

I once dated a guy who seriously stood by the seven-year rule. He ran his cell phone bill up to $900, had two children to pay child support for, refused to pay his car note after his automobile was stolen, and found nothing wrong with asking to borrow money. His logic was that no matter how bad his credit was, in seven years, it would be wiped free. I, on the other hand, have never paid any bill late, have no children to support, and would rather pull my hair out before I'd ask anyone to borrow a dime. From watching the way he spent his money, I knew that he and I could never be more serious than crushes, never let him borrow money from me, and shut down completely when the subject of money came up. He was furious. He felt that as a couple, we were responsible for each other financially. I thought that logic fit right in with what you see on rodeo grounds and refused to budge on my decision. Within a couple months of dating this guy, I realized that he and I, no matter how well we got along, would never be compatible and we promptly split up.

Some may say that it's a little more difficult to see the red flags early in a relationship, but in reality, it's much easier than you think. Watch the way your significant other spends money. Guys, if your lady thinks buying a Doonie & Burke purse is more important than paying her electricity bill, don't be surprised if you're footing all the serious bills while she's out at the mall. Women, if your man is trying to negotiate every date so everywhere you two go, there is a coupon given to the waitress, don't expect big luxurious dinners and being wined and dined. Stick with someone who spends money like you when making big decisions like marriage. Being too uncomfortable to talk about money in the beginning of the relationship will turn out to be such a waste of time later on, when you realize that you two would never be suitable as one. If you're too uneasy to talk to your partner about simple things like money, the communication is already out the window. And if there is one thing that must always be open in matrimony, it is communication. Save yourself the trouble and the heartache. Discuss your finances. It'll save you two from spending more money on the divorce that will soon follow.