Money Saving Skin Care and Makeup Tips for Old Ladies

With the exception of Chinese Shar-Pei puppies, no other creature on earth has more wrinkles than an old lady. Medicare doesn't pick up the tab for Botox or surgical procedures and on Social Security finding money for skin care products to smooth out facial wrinkles can be a problem when you're already eating cat food instead of tuna.
Discovering the secret of no-stitch and product-less reduction of facial wrinkles came about quite by accident on laundry day. Exactly how this money saving skin care tip evolved is a closely guarded secret but the end results of that meticulous research will help you get the same, wonderful results as using a high priced, fancy-mancy collagen concoction and for just pennies a day.

Here's the secret. Stand in front of your bathroom mirror and draw your index finger across your cheek from your nose to your ear, pushing the wrinkles along as you go. When you've gone as far as you can hold your finger tight to your face and with your other hand, take a clothes pin and pin the extra skin to your earlobe. Repeat on the other side of your face. With practice, the results can be amazing. Your saggy skin smooths out as if you've used a $125 an ounce anti-aging product and the best part is that you can paint or decorate clothes pin 'earrings' to match all your favorite outfits. This technique replaces all those bottles and jars you're being told are must-haves in the advertisement section of Hot Old Ladies Magazine.

Money Saving Makeup Tips

The best money saving makeup tip you'll ever find can be downloaded off the internet. If you're not computer literate get one of your grandchildren to take sixty seconds of their valuable time to print you off a full color photograph of the late Tammy Faye Baker. Then take a red magic marker and draw a big circle and slash line on the photo. That way, when you tape the photo to your bathroom mirror you'll remember that Tammy is there to remind you that less is more and she is not an exemplary example of how you should look.

Using less make up, of course, saves lots of money but it's terribly hard for old ladies to do. When you're in the Metamucil stage of life and applying makeup, it seems to disappear on your face like peeing on a sponge only to show up later in day when you're out in public. To avoid this age-related phenomenon remember that layering makeup only looks good on Bozo's girlfriend. Another important tip is to think of your face as coloring book. This will help you stay within your lip and eyebrow lines when applying makeup. Nothing looks worse that ruby red fish lips and penciled-in MacDonald arches over cataract encrusted eyes.

As you can see, saving money on skin care and makeup is easy to do with a little restraint and a clothes pin bag. ©

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