Money Talks: 5 Ways to Start Agreeing and Stop the Fighting

Save your money, save your relationship. Sound simple? It's not. In order to start agreeing with your spouse or partner about money, you first have to start talking about money. A lack of communication, too little direct communication and an abundance of miscommunication will only hurt your money talks. The first thing you need to to is keep the lines of communication open, and then you can talk about money.

Eliminate the Secret Shopping

It's a dirty secret, one that needs to come out. If you're shopping in secret it's time to stop. Do you hide impulse purchases in your car? Do you guard receipts and credit card balances with your life? Think about how you would feel if your spouse or partner did the same. It's hard to stick to shared goals when one team member is sabotaging the effort along the way.

Share Dreams, Set Goals

Share your dreams with your partner. Do you want to downsize when the kids are moved out and travel? Does he want to retire early? Make a list of your dreams and find commonalities. Keep your dreams in mind and set monetary goals you can reach together.

Make a Project List

Couples who own a home have a never-ending project list. The trouble is, you may each have your priority list in your head. Sit down and write it all down. Does a second bathroom need to come before an addition? Agree on the order of you would both like to see the projects happen.

Mad Money

Each of you should have your own money for spending. If you tend to fight about the little things "Your haircut and highlights cost how much? " or "Why did you buy six magazines with the groceries, or "You spent how much on a night out with the boys?"then it's time to have your own separate mad money.

If you have a shared checking account for paying the bills or a shared savings account, consider opening an additional free checking with ATM account each. This will allow for each of you to pay for incidentals without dissecting each small expense. If this is not an issue for you, you probably don't need the extra account with an ATM card.

Discuss the Budget

That's right, it's the "b" word. Couples who tend to split up duties will give the bill paying, check writing job to one member. It's imperative that the person taking care of the household accounts keep their partner abreast of current balance, unexpected bills or small windfalls. It's just as important for the partner who does not handle the bulk of the money matters to check in with their partner about their current finances.

Which brings us back to tip number one: talk to your partner about money. Money can't buy you happiness, but having an honest relationship with money and your partner can.