Money Talks and so Should You: Discussing Finances with Your Partner

For some, one of the most difficult parts of a relationship can be the discussion of money and their personal financial situation. There are many facets to just about any relationship, but when it comes to money, there is rarely a way to avoid having to deal with its effects upon that relationship at some point.

Whether you make a million dollars a year and live in a McMansion or subsist off just a pittance, money and it's often worrisome ways will likely sneak its way into you and your partner's lives. This is why it can be so important to be honest and upfront with your partner early on in the relationship. This way there are no secrets when it comes to your expectations of money and its management.

While many of us want to appear as if money doesn't really matter to us when we're out wooing a prospective partner, and of course a little of this is to be expected, being honest and up front can often help preserve the relationship over long haul and keep those nasty little financial skeletons from rearing their ugly heads when you least expect them.

Your Expectations

In a relationship, someone must initiate the communications, and if it isn't going to be your partner, then you might have to take the first step and bring up the topic of money. By making your views and expectations of money and the management of that money known to your partner, it can lay the groundwork for a larger discussion of the topic. This discussion might involve how you spend money, where you spend money, how you save, whether or how you budget, and investing strategies. Being clear about your expectations regarding these topics can open the door to further debates as well as help avoid confusion down the road.

Their Expectations

Listening is often just as important to effective communication as speaking -- sometimes more so. To get you and your partner on the same page, you both will likely have to listen to the other and try to understand his or her viewpoint. While you might not always like what you are hearing, by listening to your partner, you may find he or she has some legitimate points that could change how you view money. If not legitimate, these points may at least allow you a better understanding of where your partner is coming from and why he or she holds certain beliefs about money. Through effective listening, you may be able to determine what money subjects you agree upon and which ones need further discussion.

Agreeing to Disagree and Settling

Unless you and your partner are like two peas in a pod, you likely won't find yourself on the same page when it comes to your money. You might want to jot down any topics upon which you don't see eye to eye, since you probably won't have to discuss each and every money disagreement in detail right away. Rome wasn't built in a day and your agreeing to certain money issues probably won't be solved in a day either. Sometimes a break in the discussion can allow each of you to clear your heads, take a breather, and come back at a later time for a fresh start.

A large part of any successful relationship often revolves around meeting in the middle on certain subjects. It can be the same with your viewpoints on money. You probably won't have to agree on every money subject, but if you can compromise and come to agreements upon the most important money topics, such as retirement planning, saving, spending, and tracking, your chances of maintaining a successful money relationship will likely increase.

Disclaimer:

The author is not a licensed financial or security professional. The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. For financial advice, readers should consult a licensed financial advisor. Any action taken by the reader due to the information provided in this article is solely at the reader's discretion.