Monique Meets IntrePig

This story is inspired by AC by Yahoo! Contributor Luella Edwards. Her true and wonderful story Requiem for a Pig reminded me of a modern day pig adventure of my own. If you need a good laugh, please visit Luella's content. In the meantime, enjoy my three-quarters of the way true story about IntrePig.

Monique knew her and her husband Jake had finally reached that level of comfortable living most families dream of. She knew this because they lived in a big house located in a quiet suburban neighborhood just five miles and five minutes from the city and five miles five minutes from the remote country area. Monique was convinced that their modest home located in a low traffic, low crime area was the perfect place to be until It showed up.

It was a pig.

It the Pig showed up in her driveway one evening as she pulled in from work. It was a cool fall evening that ushered in darkness earlier than Monique liked. As she got out of her car, she saw the silhouette of an animal that stood two feet off the ground ambling its way over to her car. Three of her neighbors had dogs who wandered in and out of her yard. This . . .this living and breathing thing that stood beside her now was no dog or cat. It wasn't even the occasional annoying armadillo that cut through her yard and dug holes in her flower bed.

It was a pig. A pig? How absurd. This was a quiet little suburb. What farm truck passed through and accidentally lost one of its livestock? Fearfully, Monique looked around, hoping the farmer hadn't lost more than one. She put her hands on her hips and mumbled "what the devil. . .?" It the Pig just looked up at her and nodded its head in jaunty pig motion. It was quiet, mannerly. Monique felt dizziness come to her head: it's as if It the Pig was greeting her with hello and a smile.

The standoff between woman and pig ended when Monique ran in the house and locked the door behind her. She stood for a moment against the door, trying hard to reconcile what had just happened.

Monique was raised on a farm. Her granddaddy had pigs. Her husband Jake grew up on a farm. His daddy had pigs. Pigs were dirty, filthy, nasty, greedy animals that dug out of their places of abode more than stayed in them. They were a problem, especially when Jake had showered and dressed for a date and his daddy called for his help to come put the pig back in the pen. Pigs were never mannerly or gracious. They certainly were not pets. They didn't belong in suburban neighborhoods like this one. And they certainly didn't belong in her driveway!

All this going through her mind, Monique decided to call Animal Control. Before she did, though, she called a neighbor's house. The Barnetts had lived in this neighborhood for many years. She asked Mrs. Barnett if she knew there was a pig running loose in the neighborhood.

"Oh, that must be the Turnball's pig," Mrs. Barnett answered calmly. "It must have gotten out again."

Again? Monique shuttered. It turned out Mr. Turnball was a truck driver who went on weeklong stints for the local trucking company. His house was on the other side of the road. Which means It the Pig got out of its pen, crossed the road and sauntered up and down her street grazing on whatever struck its fancy.

But this is the suburbs! she protested furiously. What fool keeps a pig in the suburbs? And then leaves him alone. Doesn't Turnball know the thing has to eat? He better hope I can't find the number to Animal Control.

Lucky for It the Pig, Monique couldn't find the number for Animal Control. During the next several days, she saw It gallivanting up and down the street of her low crime, low traffic suburban home. It the Pig visited each yard and left a pile of its manure for homeowners to shovel. If that wasn't considered a crime, what was?

One day after work, Monique just sat on her porch sipping tea and watching It the Pig. She was an elementary school librarian who read stories about animals to young children everyday. Sometimes the stories were true, but most of the time they were stories created in the minds of the author. Monique was creating her own story. Her story featured It the Pig, and could possibly grow into a series for young children.

She'd call it The Bold Excursions of IntrePig. She liked the play on words, because this pig was anything but fearful. One thing Monique learned by watching It the Pig is that stereotypes about where you belong, or where you should or should not go don't have to hold you back.

As if It the Pig could hear her thoughts, she perked up from rooting in the next door neighbor's flower bed and looked at Monique. It the Pig's ears stood in attention. For a moment, the two - woman and pig - made intense eye contact. Then It went back to rooting.

Whatever the woman was thinking, It the Pig reasoned, was far better than being turned into a Boston butt.

Author's Note: Since this is my original work, I retain rights to publishing The Bold Excursions of IntrePig.